


XCVI

by space_in_between



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Idiots in Love, Kinda?, M/M, Mutual Pining, i'm sorry in advance, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_in_between/pseuds/space_in_between
Summary: Zhangjing and Yanjun have four days that will change them for, perhaps, now and forever.





	XCVI

**Author's Note:**

> \- hewwo i'm back with another zhangjun (unsurprising) and it's 20something-k (predictable)  
> \- i spent days and nights reading this over and over and idk if this is actually good or a total garbage, bUT I LOVED THE IDEA SO I RLY HOPE YOU ENJOY MY HARD WORK SWEAT AND TEARS  
> \- i tried to split this into two parts but,,, mission failed,,, i'm sorry you have to suffer pls if you're reading this, i love you  
> \- gonna fix errors/mistakes/annoying spaces after italic later man i'm exhausted

60.

It comes as a surprise that morning, when Nine Percent’s manager knocks the door of their dorm so early in the morning to tell them that Zhangjing and Yanjun have filming together for a reality show, and the filming will be taking four days without definite time to start and finish so they have to adjust their schedules themselves.

“Individual schedule?” Xukun repeats what their manager has said a moment ago. “Well, I’m fine with it, as long as Yanjun-ge and Zhangjing-ge still come to practice with us. We have a fanmeet event in two days.”

“We can handle it,” Yanjun pats the leader’s back with a gentle smile tugging on his lips. “Aren’t we, Zhangjing?”

“Yeah, sure,” Zhangjing blinks and shifts his eyes to their manager. “What’s this filming about?”

“You and Yanjun will act as boyfriends,” the manager says in almost a murmur. “You’ll be given missions, and you will act like boyfriends to do those missions. Some are scripted, some are not. You’ll need to go with your imagination as well.”

Zhangjing can’t hide his loud gasp and it takes a moment for him to realise how shocked he sounds just now because everyone’s eyes are on him, a heavy mix of amusement, curiosity, and worry.

“Oh, cool,” Yanjun says, stroking his chin with his index finger. “I think I’ve heard about this show, but I haven’t watched the previous seasons. This show is hella popular these days, wow, we’re going to be a star.”

“You’re already a star even before our debut,” Zhengting points out with a chuckle, “I know that program too, it’s part of the equality campaign and its purpose is to spread positivity and awareness about sexual orientation, but it’s mostly just two dudes hanging out and do cool stuffs.”

“The show had gotten very high demands to bring you two as the next representative for the latest season,” their manager almost begs, “please tell me you’re going to do it.”

“I am going to do it,” Yanjun quickly says, raising his hand. He flashes a wide smile at Zhangjing, who’s still faltering with his mouth shaping an O and his eyes wide, unfocus. “I’m not going to do it without Zhangjing, though, so Zhangjing is also going to do it with me. Case closed.”

 

 

59.

Zhangjing and Yanjun sit on the living room while the others are doing their own business after morning practice ends, Yanjun busy typing words on his keyboard to find the previous season of the show on the carpet and Zhangjing sits behind him on the couch. They (mostly Yanjun) decide to at least get the fundamental idea about this show first before they go to the filming site later.

“Why did you agree to do this?” Zhangjing groans, covering his face with a cushion and groaning some more. “Why did you agree to do this and even drag me into this?!”

“It’s just a show, relax.” Yanjun replies without looking at Zhangjing. He’s found the website that posted all episodes of the program and now he’s looking for the one that seems interesting enough.

“It’s not _just_ a show,” Zhangjing throws Yanjun the cushion, it lands perfectly on the back of his head. “People in this country will see us on TV and we have to convince them that we’re boyfriends? That’s not funny, Lin Yanjun, what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that we’re starting to get the love and attention we deserve,” Yanjun laughs and presses play, and then he hops on the couch beside Zhangjing and loops and arm around Zhangjing’s shoulder. “We’ve been friends for ages, You Zhangjing. If anyone has to play my boyfriend role, it has to be you, so I can be… I don’t know, natural? We’re going to be okay, I promise. Everyone knows the show is scripted, anyway.”

Zhangjing bites his bottom lip, eyes on Yanjun’s laptop screen now when the video is starting and it shows two young male actors greet the viewers, one has his hand on the other’s shoulder and one has his hand on the other’s waist, keeping him close. They look normal, just like friends. Zhangjing has seen more gayer things in Nine Percent dorm than this show could probably offer.

He sighs, “Fine. It’s only for four days, anyway.”

“Yes,” Yanjun beams beside him, “it’s only for four days.

 

 

58.

The director of the show is elated to see Zhangjing and Yanjun when the manager drives them to the filming site in the afternoon.

“Hello, it’s really nice to see you guys.” He shakes Yanjun and Zhangjing’s hands vigorously, almost kissing them if the two don’t pull back almost instantly. “I’m so happy when your manager called me back saying that both of you agreed to do this! The show’s rating and viewers are going to explode once the episode is broadcasted.”

“Uh, yeah, thank you,” Zhangjing smiles politely and tries so hard not to sound awkward. He means, why would everyone expect him to be boyfriends with Yanjun and they were happy when Yanjun and him comply the request?

“We’re going to have fun here,” Yanjun’s answer is calmer than Zhangjing’s, more professional sounding. Zhangjing wants to kick the back of his knees for showing off, but he doesn’t. “I’ve watched the show and it’s very interesting. It’s going to be such a memorable experience for me to do it myself.”

What a poser, Zhangjing rolls his eyes. He does admit Yanjun looks _very_ intrigued after he finished watching one whole season with three different couples on screen by the span of five hours this morning, but this kind of conversation is unnecessary.

“I like your spirit,” the director smiles and pats Yanjun’s back loudly. “Come on, boys, let me show you the concept for your season.”

 

 

57.

It’s only after Zhangjing reads carefully to every word on the script on his hand does he realise how different the current season is with the previous season he watched with Yanjun.

In the previous seasons, both the one Zhangjing had watched and the others he found out from the internet, the couple went on mission like making money together to rent a luxurious hotel room for holiday, arranging a parade in an amusement park, making a scrapbook of their entire journey to Japan, or trying all sort of Thailand street food. Zhengting was right about the program being mostly two dudes hanging out together and doing cool stuffs, but it’s definitely different this time.

“I and Yanjun have to compose a song by ourselves and do a guerrilla concert as our final mission? We have to do it in four days?”

The director laughs, “Your final mission is going to be held once your task is completed, so it doesn’t have to be in exactly four days. The song doesn’t have to be long and meeting all official song requirement or whatever it needs to be, you know it better than me, the only specification we need about this song is, it’s the song about two of you.”

“A song about us, as in what? Boyfriends? Friends?”

“I can’t answer that, but _you_ can. It’s your mission to find out what kind of song you’re going to make.”

Zhangjing glances helplessly at Yanjun, who’s still smiling, unbothered. Zhangjing doesn’t know what to expect about this show anymore, let alone about what Yanjun is thinking right now.

“I see,” Yanjun says, he seems to catch Zhangjing’s eyes on him as he gives him a small smile, dimple showing. “We’ll start thinking about it. What about our fair shares of cute dates?”

Zhangjing almost chokes to his own saliva. The director smiles and pointing to the paper in Yanjun’s hand excitedly.

“If you read on the next section, you’ll see the places and times we set for you to have your cute dates, but since you guys are busy, we’ll leave it completely to you. Take your time reading it until the very end, and then we’ll move to the signing part.”

 

 

56.

“This job is easy,” Yanjun says, stretching his arms and yawning after he and Zhangjing both signed the contract to be involved in this project and all of its details. “It’s like we’re filming for a drama, but with less script reading.”

“We have to make a song,” Zhangjing rolls his eyes, “do you think it would be as easy as it sounds?”

“If the inspiration doesn’t stop, I can finish it in two days,” Yanjun says. Zhangjing gives him a disdainful look and punches his arm, making Yanjun laugh. “I’m serious, I mean. Composing isn’t that hard if only two people are thinking together. They don’t prohibit us from asking help too, and you see how many talented song composer we have in our team besides me? It’s a piece of cake, Zhangjing. Trust me.”

“I really don’t understand why are you so into this.”

“Because I know it’s fun, and you’ve seen it yourself at the video we watched together earlier,” says Yanjun, looking straight at Zhangjing’s eyes and smiles so warmly it almost makes Zhangjing blush. “I’m looking forward to be your boyfriend, You Zhangjing.”

Zhangjing gulps. “Yeah.”

He can’t even say _me too_ because he doesn’t know how to _feel_ about Yanjun’s excitement. Zhangjing is happy about this job, but he doesn’t share the vigorous sentiment Yanjun shows with every gesture he makes and Zhangjing doesn’t know why. Working with Yanjun has always been fun, but this is something entirely new for Zhangjing. Being boyfriends in public? With Lin Yanjun, who can melt everyone from the very first glance and the very first word coming out from his mouth?

Will the entire nation get jealous at him? Well, that’s _not_ Zhangjing’s exact intention when he’s decided to follow the career path as an idol, but he’d lived half of his life with Lin Yanjun so it goes without saying, since Yanjun is widely loved by everyone. But it isn’t the main concern here.

It’s Zhangjing’s heart. Will _he_ be okay playing around the fire like this?

(He can’t answer the question just yet.)

 

 

55.

“Oh, I just found another interesting thing about this contract,” Yanjun smirks, looking up at Zhangjing from his paper for a while and looking down again on the next second. “They didn’t put something like, you can’t fall in love with your partner within the project. Or you can’t date your partner during the project.”

“We’re playing as _boyfriends_ , whenever we go out together it counts as a date and we’re supposed to make the whole nation believe that we’re actually dating. What else do you want from them, honestly?”

Yanjun shrugs, “Who knows? I might fall in love with you for real in the process.”

Zhangjing glares at Yanjun and makes a neck slicing gesture with his finger. “If you say another word, I will slit your throat and dump your corpse and ask the director to pair me up with someone else.”

Yanjun’s laughs rings like a bell in Zhangjing’s ear.

 

 

54.

Their first task of this mission is to have individual interview with two staffs—one interviewer and one cameraman—at different place at the same time. Yanjun will be interviewed inside the cafe where they’re supposed to meet for the “first time”, and Zhangjing will be doing the same at a place that looks like a small gallery, still around the same area.

Zhangjing looks around, feeling a little empty and a bit lost without Yanjun on his side. Ever since Idol Producer, Zhangjing has gotten used to do interviews with Yanjun, and the habit lingers even after they debut in Nine Percent, so it’s weird when he has to do it himself.

Zhangjing takes a deep breath and looks at the camera, smiling. He greets the viewer with his usual “Hello, I’m Nine Percent’s You Zhangjing. Nice to meet you all.”

“This is your first time doing something like this, right?” the staff—female, probably older than Zhangjing, has friendly smile on her face and she keeps telling Zhangjing to relax—asks him, and she nods when Zhangjing answers with a shy yes. “You’re doing it with someone you know, he’s a member of your group. It’s really different from our previous seasons, what do you think?”

“Ah, are we really doing it differently? Well, the viewers will know the answer. Seems that this season’s episodes will be less thrilling than the previous ones,” Zhangjing jokes. The staffs laughing with him, and Zhangjing finally feels a little like himself again.

“But he’s someone you know well, don’t you think it makes the show more interesting since you’re being virtual boyfriends with your own real friend?”

Zhangjing licks his bottom lip, thinking. “Maybe,” he says to the camera with his signature smile, showing his bunny teeth. “Yes, maybe we can skip the awkward first meeting part and jump straight to the unexpected shenanigans that will make the viewers want to stay tune at the channel and look at us all day,” Zhangjing replies, making the staffs laugh again.

“What do you think about Lin Yanjun? Please answer this question as You Zhangjing, not as Nine Percent member.”

“Lin Yanjun? He is…” Zhangjing pauses, mind trailing. Has he ever thought about Lin Yanjun as someone who isn’t a close friend of his, as someone who has shared laugh and tears with him for years? Has he ever seen Lin Yanjun as someone who’s probably, more than that?

Zhangjing _has_. But he’s always too embarrassed to keep the thought afloat for more than two minutes inside his head, and he uses all his strength to keep it down low, far away and (hopefully) forgotten. (Zhangjing has never really forgotten about it.)

“He is a good person. Caring, attentive, always showing his good sides to everyone. Sometimes he’s really annoying, that kind of annoying where you want to kick him on the face, but it doesn’t last long. The viewers will get to see that side of Yanjun, too! I’ll make sure to cue the camera when he starts being annoying.”

The interview ends a few minutes later, Zhangjing thanks the staffs and the staff jiejie tells him to wait at the outside of the cafe where Yanjun’s doing his interview, three buildings away from this place. Zhangjing walks to the said direction and from the window glass he can see Yanjun is still talking with the staff, smiling and laughing and showing his dimples whenever his lips are tugging upward.

Zhangjing unconsciously smiles at himself seeing those smiles, Yanjun’s smiles and laughs are contagious.

His smile spreads wider when Yanjun catches his eyes from inside the cafe and waves at him, beckoning him to come because he’s finished with his interview.

“Let’s go,” a staff claps Zhangjing’s shoulder gently, “we’re going to start filming the first scene in fifteen minutes.”

 

 

53.

Five minutes before the camera rolls, Yanjun tells Zhangjing to act like the camera isn’t around, like how it was in Idol Producer dorm. “The only difference would be, you’re here as my boyfriend. It’s easy, right?”

“Easy for you doesn’t mean it’s easy for me too,” Zhangjing grumbles. “You’re a huge flirt, no wonder you take these things so lightly. But I know my role, don’t worry about me and just do yours well.”

Yanjun clicks his tongue at Zhangjing’s cold and flat tone. “Zhangjing, you’re my _boyfriend_. Be a little gentler at me, will you? Come on, talk cutely at me.”

“Do you want to die?” Zhangjing glares, the mental image of him being cute in front of Yanjun is already so mortifying. “Shut up. I can play the role of your boyfriend without having to disgust myself.”

“It’s not disgust, it’s cute,” Yanjun cackles at Zhangjing’s reaction. “You should learn from Zhengting, he’s a pro.”

“Then ask the director to pair you up with Zhengting and not me, you idiot.”

Yanjun shifts closer to Zhangjing, bumping his shoulder way too hard and almost sending Zhangjing flying off the chair if Yanjun isn’t pulling him back by his arm in time. Zhangjing’s face is now awkwardly positioned near Yanjun’s neck, and Zhangjing can faintly smell the cologne Yanjun always wears for his daytime schedule. It’s a mix of masculinity and something fresh and musky, and a hint of blackcurrant.

“Hmm, okay, this is a good enough start. Keep it up, You Zhangjing.”

Zhangjing gasps and pulls away, belatedly realising that Yanjun has his hand resting on the small of his back, making it look like Zhangjing was leaning down to kiss Yanjun’s neck or something. _The fuck is he thinking?_ The smaller man grunts and elbows Yanjun’s ribs as hard as he could, smirking victoriously when Yanjun groans in pain.

 

 

52.

They talk about the theme of their self-composed song as the material for the first episode, also the first scene they’re filming that day.

Yanjun suggests they should write something to express their feeling toward each other. They’re _boyfriends_ here, Zhangjing doesn’t really need Yanjun to repeat the word over and over again, but Yanjun still does it happily. Is being boyfriends on a TV program really that fun?

“The first verse will have my impression about you, we can work on the chorus together, and the second verse is yours about me. So it’s basically a song that we dedicate for each other.”

Zhangjing has no better idea and he thinks that Yanjun’s idea was brilliant, so he agrees and starts doodling the rough draft on his prepared notebook.

“What is the topic of the chorus?” Zhangjing asks, looking up from his notebook to look at Yanjun, sitting across him on this small table, chin resting on the heel of his palm as he stares at Zhangjing like he’s studying the features of Zhangjing’s face. Zhangjing clears his throat, a little uncomfortable being stared like that.

“I haven’t thought about that part,” Yanjun sighs. “Do you have any idea?”

Zhangjing’s pen taps his chin in rapid movement while Zhangjing is thinking. Brainstorming about making a song in general is already hard, let alone make a _romantic_ one, when you’re a boy and you have to do it with your _boyfriend_ who’s actually your close friend slash band mate, in front of TV crews and cameras around.

“How about… the chorus is about us,” Zhangjing’s voice comes out like a bashful whisper. “It’s about how we, uh, see each other in the future. So we want to keep walking together as we share the same goal.”

“Oh, I like it,” Yanjun smiles, his dimples appearing. Zhangjing almost one hundred percent sure the cameras are getting his close ups for the dimples only. “See each other in the future… it’s really good. We’re talking about a relationship, not some ten seconds infatuation. It’s really, really good, I’m not kidding,” Yanjun says, his tone sincere and Zhangjing wonders if those are sparks in Yanjun’s dark orbs.

Maybe Yanjun just really wants to work on this project and he was waiting to be casted, Zhangjing thinks fondly. Maybe Zhangjing should think the way Yanjun does for this program to be a success.

So Zhangjing mimics Yanjun’s pose—resting his chin on one palm—and smiles at Yanjun, who suddenly blinks rapidly at Zhangjing’s direction, almost nervous. What is he doing, really? He looks so composed and fine just a minute ago.

“Thanks,” Zhangjing says, eyes not leaving Yanjun. “So, what should we do next?”

 

 

51.

The filming ends when the sun has completely set and Zhangjing and Yanjun leave the filming site with positive feedback from the director and all the staffs. They called it a success, and the director won’t stop bragging about how great Zhangjing and Yanjun look together on screen.

“We’ll see you guys again tomorrow for, in Yanjun’s words, your cute date,” the director points at Yanjun and laughs. “You can start writing the lyrics at the dorm or wherever you want, just remember to update us with the progress since that’s the purpose of your mission, after all.”

Zhangjing feels Yanjun’s eyes on him for a second but Yanjun’s already looking away when Zhangjing turns his head at him, he’s smiling to the director and the staffs instead. Zhangjing frowns but he doesn’t question it, copying Yanjun’s bow and a series of thank yous before they get in to the van.

“Ready for working your real job, now?” Yanjun asks after they’re both seated at the back of the van, Zhangjing is visibly struggling with his seatbelt, but he hears the question and hums in response. He clearly doesn’t pay attention to his surrounding because he almost gets a heart attack at the appearance of Yanjun and his long arm so close to him all of sudden, Yanjun reaches over to help Zhangjing wearing his seatbelt properly.

“You’re such a kid,” Yanjun comments with a chuckle after the task is finished perfectly, taking less than fifteen seconds. Yanjun is back on his previous spot again, wearing his own seatbelt.

“Thanks,” Zhangjing grins innocently. “For once I won’t hit you for insulting me because you’ve helped me, but you’re not going anywhere next time.”

“Very affectionate,” Yanjun says, chuckling, but his eyes are looking outside the window and he isn’t looking at Zhangjing. “Today was fun, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it was fun,” Zhangjing tells him, and it’s true. They aren’t filming for a drama with long scripts and multiple takes, so it isn’t tiring. Except Zhangjing feels like this is the longest time he’s been with Yanjun in one screen together since Idol Producer and looking at Yanjun’s wide smile continuously does tire him out.

“You look tired, though,” Yanjun turns his head as if he reads Zhangjing’s mind, to scan Zhangjing from head to toe. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when we’re arrived.”

“Hmm, sure. Thank you, Lin Yanjun.”

 

 

50.

“Hold my hand.”

“Wait, _what_?”

“Hold my hand,” Yanjun repeats, and impatiently takes Zhangjing’s hand into his when Zhangjing isn’t reacting at all. Well, excuse you but how does Zhangjing have to react at the sudden request of holding hands openly in public? When he and Yanjun are walking on the street with cameras and staffs tailing behind them?

Holding hands with Yanjun isn’t something new for Zhangjing and it shouldn’t come as a surprise, with the amount of them doing it back when they were still trainees. They often hold hands without context - Yanjun often reaches out to hold Zhangjing’s hand and releases it shortly after. Zhangjing notices that’s mostly when Yanjun needs encouragement, and it becomes his habit to do it without Yanjun has to ask first.

The only thing that makes it different right now is, there was no camera back then. Holding hands with Yanjun isn’t something completely new for Zhangjing but he considers it as something he only shares with Yanjun, it’s the secret only two of them know (even though Zhangjing isn’t only holding Yanjun’s hand, he holds his friends’ hands too, but somehow it’s _different_ with Yanjun). He isn’t sure why, but Zhangjing secretly likes Yanjun’s soft, warm smile when he holds his hands and Zhangjing knows Yanjun doesn’t give that smile to just everyone.

It makes him feel special, it sends warmth all over his body and only Yanjun can give him that kind of natural reaction.

But now, when the camera is still following them, when everyone is looking, Yanjun is standing there, giving Zhangjing _that_ smile. Zhangjing sighs and lets Yanjun fit his big hand on his, slotting their fingers easily. It’s kind of mesmerising, the way the spaces between Yanjun’s fingers are the exact size of Zhangjing’s fingers. Zhangjing always takes a second or two to stare at his hand and Yanjun’s when they’re holding hands, wonder if Yanjun is aware about this as well. Yanjun glances at him and gives him a light squeeze, still smiling.

“Your hand fits mine so well, maybe we’re being born at this lifetime merely to complete this task?”

Zhangjing laughs and bumps Yanjun’s shoulder with his own playfully. _He knows._

 

 

49.

Zhengting greets Zhangjing with a smile when he enters the practice room, the room is oddly empty and Zhengting is the only person Zhangjing sees there.

“Where’s everyone?” Zhangjing asks, looking around. “Don’t tell me the practice has finished already, are you guys seriously leaving me and Yanjun out?”

“No, don’t worry, we’re taking a short break and Linong and Justin are getting us energy drinks before we start again,” Zhengting says, chuckling. “How was the filming?”

“It’s fine so far,” Zhangjing answers cheerfully. “You were right about the program is for two dudes doing cool stuffs together, until this very season. They asked me and Yanjun to write a song in a week, and we have to perform that song in public too.”

Zhengting raises one eyebrow, interested. “Really? Wow. You’re releasing a song as boyfriends, then?”

The boyfriend part makes Zhangjing’s face warm all of sudden. That detail is often being overlooked as Zhangjing focuses on something else, he doesn’t expect hearing it from someone besides Yanjun can make him this bothered but not in a bad way.

“Um, yeah.” Zhangjing clears his throat, avoiding Zhengting’s prying eyes. “I mean, it’s only for this program, right? That should be okay.”

“Of course it is,” Zhengting shrugs and softens his expression. “Be careful, You Zhangjing. Don’t play with the fire if you don’t want to get burned.”

Zhangjing frowns, “What do you mean?”

“You and Yanjun,” Zhengting says, words unfinished as his eyes shift from Zhangjing’s face to the door when it’s being kicked open from the outside, followed by Justin and Chengcheng’s noisy banter and slowly the other Nine Percent members start entering the room. Yanjun is with them, hands busy balancing two big and seemingly heavy white plastic bags. When he looks up his eyes almost immediately find Zhangjing’s, and he smiles.

Zhangjing smiles back, waving his hand at him.

(He forgets about what Zhengting has said to him almost instantly.)

 

 

48.

Practice ends after midnight, and Zhangjing has no energy left to even walk his ass back to the dorm. He sits with his back pressing against the mirror, groaning when his brain unhelpfully reminds him that he and Yanjun have filming early in the morning, cutting off his sleeping time even more.

His body jolts in shock when someone jerks him up to standing position in one swift move. It’s Yanjun, of course it’s always Yanjun. Yanjun will never leave the practice room if Zhangjing is still inside, and he will always wait for him until he’s finished. It’s sort of a habit for him, probably, but Zhangjing never asks him why.

He shoots Zhangjing a weird look and clicks his tongue. Zhangjing tilts his head in confusion when Yanjun suddenly crouches down and squats, turning his head back with annoyed expression when Zhangjing doesn’t move an inch from his spot.

“What are you waiting for? Get onto my back.”

Zhangjing’s jaw drops, “What?!”

“You heard me,” Yanjun says again, motioning to his back. “Hop on. I’ll give you a ride home.”

“A ride?” Zhangjing repeats, “Do you know what kind of ride you’re offering to me right now?”

“Of course I know. It’s a boyfriend ride,” Yanjun says heedlessly. “Come on, Linkai is going to lock the front door if we don’t hurry.”

Zhangjing is left with no other choice, but for him it’s still so damn ridiculous. The usual Yanjun would just offer to drag him home, sometimes he would do it without giving Zhangjing any second to complain. What is he thinking now?

“Are you tired? Do you want to sleep, or do you want to keep talking with me until we reach the dorm?”

The distance between their dorm and the studio is only a ten minutes walk, but it’s already past midnight and Zhangjing is hugging Yanjun’s neck like his life depends on it (even though Yanjun’s firm arms are holding him steadily), there’s no way he would sleep on Yanjun’s back right now.

“I’m not going to sleep, I don’t trust you enough that you’ll carry me until we reach the dorm. What if you change your mind and you leave me on the bush?”

Yanjun laughs, his shoulder shaking slightly from his laughter. “You’re so mean. I’m a responsible boyfriend, I don’t even dare to drop you, let alone to leave you on the bush. Do you really think that badly about me, Zhangjing?”

“I don’t know, how would I know what kind of boyfriend you are?”

“Then find out within these three days.”

“Oh, are we doing a social experiment right now? What am I going to do with the result of the research?”

“It’s up to you, but here’s a suggestion. You can use it as the reference to continue dating me in the future?”

Zhangjing gasps and hit Yanjun’s head _hard_ with his knuckles. His face is unmistakably hot and it must be looking so fucking red right now, luckily the street around them is pretty dark and Yanjun won’t be able to catch his expression right now.

“Ow! That hurts!”

“Serves you right.”

“You don’t look tired anymore. You should be the one who carries me on your back, you know.”

“Really? Just put me down, then, I didn’t even ask for this, it was all your idea.”

“Right, but I did because I wanted to do it. Now can we talk about something else and stop insulting each other?”

 

 

47.

_“What do you think about holding hands in public with your lover?”_

Yanjun smiles so wide to the camera, he has expected this question to be thrown at him but he still can’t stop himself from smiling like an idiot. He knows the staffs aren’t going to let go the clip of him holding Zhangjing’s hand, and how Zhangjing lets him do it like it’s the most natural thing to do. Well, it does, but the world doesn’t know about it.

“It’s nice,” Yanjun answers comes out silly instead, and he laughs when the staffs are laughing at his answer. “I mean, holding hands with someone, your lover, gives you a sense of comfort. In my case, I feel like I’m protecting the person beside me and it feels nice.”

_“Is that how you feel when you’re holding your boyfriend’s hand earlier?”_

Yanjun pauses for a while to give them a dramatic effect, and nods. “Yeah. As you can see, Zhangjing is _so_ small, so the urge to hold his hands just comes naturally, I think? Because you want to make him comfortable around you, you want to protect him. The other members in our group know about this too and they share the same sentiment with me, you can confirm it with them if you don’t believe me.”

_“How do you feel about Zhangjing holding hands with other people?”_

Yanjun blinks several times, a little taken aback by the question but his name isn’t Lin Yanjun if he can’t take control of the situation.

“I didn’t feel anything back then, but after this show, maybe I’d be a little annoyed at people who hold Zhangjing’s hand? Ah, I should make sure that I always stay beside him, so when he’s going to hold someone’s hand, he can always hold mine.”

The answer seems to satisfy the crew and they move on with another question. Yanjun glances at his hand, curling and uncurling his fingers. Zhangjing’s warmth lingers atop of his skin, and his answer earlier may or may not be the truth.

 

 

46.

They will start filming early on the next day, and Yanjun has been stealing glances at Zhangjing every so often for the last fifteen minutes inside the car. Zhangjing doesn’t seem to have enough sleep and they leave before the sun is out so Zhangjing obviously hasn’t eaten anything probably since yesterday afternoon.

“Do you want us to stop somewhere and buy some foods? You look terrible.”

“No, we’re going to be late,” Zhangjing mumbles in response. “You haven’t eaten anything either, you look just as terrible.”

Yanjun laughs, ruffling Zhangjing’s hair playfully and Zhangjing grumbles because it takes him ten minutes this morning to style his hair. “It’s okay, we’ll stop at the convenience store nearby and I’ll get you food and drink. We have a long day today, and we still have practice at night. Do you want to die fast like this?”

Zhangjing smiles, fingers find their way to Yanjun’s and squeeze them gently. “Thanks,” he whispers. “I don’t want you to die faster than me either, so you should eat with me. Do you understand?”

Yanjun laughs and nods, “I do.”

Their manager agrees to make a short stop at a 24-hour convenience store and Yanjun takes everything he’s sure he and Zhangjing can eat and when he pours them out on the counter, Zhangjing nearly yells at him.

“Are we going to go picnic or what?”

“It’s the amount of nutritions you need to survive a day!”

“But we’re going to work in just a few minutes, Lin Yanjun, who will eat all of these?”

“Why do we have to eat everything at once? We can save some for later, do you think eating once a day is enough?”

The store’s employee looks back and forth at them, looking interested. “Aren’t you Lin Yanjun and You Zhangjing? Nine Percent?” he asks while his hands are busy scanning everything Yanjun takes from the shelves and putting them into a paper bag.

“Right,” Zhangjing answers, smiling. “Do you know us?”

“Of course, I’m a fan of yours,” the employee smiles brightly at Zhangjing and Yanjun scrunches his nose at the happy expression Zhangjing has on his face. Is he suddenly forgetting how pale he looks five minutes ago?

“Can you sign for me here? Your boyfriend too, I want to have something to brag about with my friends.”

Yanjun’s face brightens in the blink of eyes as he takes the paper the cashier boy offers to them. “How did you know I was his boyfriend?” Yanjun asks, genuinely curious. The first episode of the show he and Zhangjing are in hasn’t even broadcasted and it will not until the next two weeks at least.

“It’s easy to tell,” the cashier boy shrugs. “You guys are always the hot topic on the internet, and we all know it’s not for nothing. As I said earlier, it’s easy to tell.”

Zhangjing and Yanjun do sign for him later, Yanjun sneakily draws a heart between his name and Zhangjing’s. Zhangjing notices that and he slaps Yanjun’s arm, laughing, but he lets Yanjun draw three more of them before giving the paper back to the cashier boy.

“Thank you for supporting me and _my boyfriend_ ,” Yanjun gives the boy a killer smile, to which the boy replies with an eager nod. “Please look forward to Nine Percent’s exciting activities in the future!”

(They’re back in the car and Zhangjing is drinking his banana milk through a straw when he asks Yanjun, “Are we really _that_ boyfriends looking that even someone who only saw us once could conclude such a thing?”

“Maybe he spends too much time in the internet,” Yanjun replies, “or maybe he has the ability to see through us and he can read our future.”

Zhangjing frowns, “Does that even make sense?”

Yanjun shrugs, eating his bread solemnly. “I said maybe, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be true.”)

 

 

45.

They’re filming in a cafe under the staff’s recommendation, to fulfill one of Zhangjing and Yanjun’s share of cute dates. They both decide to start working on their song by now, and Yanjun has brought his laptop to show Zhangjing some beat samples they can use as reference.

“You’re really serious about this,” Zhangjing comments as he joins Yanjun to stare into his laptop screen. “Come to think of it, we haven’t talked about the genre of this song, right? How do you want the song to be?”

“I want it to be an easy-listening song, not too slow and not too fast. If it’s too slow people will think our song is sad and mellow, if it’s too fast you will get tired after just listening to it. I want this song to have the right tempo to sing along but you can also enjoy it while closing your eyes, or something.”

“Ooh, what a detailed answer. As expected from a genius music with experience of composing,” Zhangjing teases. Yanjun laughs and looks away, the tip of his ears turning a deep shade of red. Zhangjing blinks several times to make sure his eyes didn’t fool him. Since when did Yanjun _blush_ when Zhangjing compliments him?

“Did you just… blush?” Zhangjing asks, and the way Yanjun gets flustered even more is both endearing and embarrassing at the same time. The camera is still rolling and Zhangjing has started imagining how Yanjun would look with his flushed face on TV. He’s going to make a ton of new fans in just a short time. “Oh my God, I just made Lin Yanjun blush. Why are you like this? Is this the first time I’m complimenting you on your work?”

Yanjun wipes his face with his palm, still laughing. “No,” he murmurs, “but that’s definitely the first one as my boyfriend.”

Zhangjing falls silent, feeling his own face grows hot and red himself. He throws his head back and groans, “You’re so annoying,” he tells Yanjun. Yanjun realises the change in Zhangjing’s face and he starts laughing—forcing Zhangjing to laugh as well.

“How else do I have to call you, then? My lover? My baby?”

“Stop it!”

“My baby sounds cute, though. Baby, come here. I want to hug you—”

“Oh my God, stop it before I kick you.”

“Are you seriously going to kick your lover’s face, baby? I’m hurt, don’t you want to love me instead?”

Zhangjing laughs when Yanjun really does make an attempt to hug him, playfully pushing him away and Yanjun surrenders easily when he fights back, although he’s fully aware Yanjun has more than enough strength to win and pull Zhangjing’s small figure into his embrace. Honestly speaking, Zhangjing is a little disappointed Yanjun doesn’t do that.

He catches the spark in Yanjun’s eyes when they finally become serious again to do their task (they will have to retake if this scene doesn’t meet the director’s expectation). Has he ever seen Yanjun this happy before? He looks so bright that he visibly glows, even without the sunlight inundating him on one side, making his jet black hair a little brown from where Zhangjing stares at it. He lifts a hand to touch Yanjun’s hair—almost a habit, he’s so used to fix Yanjun’s hair because the latter never really cares about it—but right now Zhangjing does it for a completely different reason.

Yanjun turns at him and smiles, “Is there something on my hair?”

Zhangjing puts his hand down awkwardly, smiling back. “No, there’s nothing.”

“Okay,” Yanjun believes him easily. “Do you have other thoughts on how our song should be? Do you want it slower or quicker?”

“I’m going with your choice, I like it.”

Yanjun smirks, “Really? I don’t know you’re so submissive, You Zhangjing.”

Zhangjing kicks Yanjun’s knee from under the table. “Shut up and let’s do this quickly so we can do the next step, we don’t have much time left.”

“Alright, alright, I have sorted the ones I like here, use my headphones to listen to all of them and tell me what you think.”

 

 

44.

Yanjun orders Zhangjing coffee and a slice of blueberry cheesecake and he just _has_ to emphasise the fact that those are for his boyfriend, complete with an eyebrow-wiggle to his direction. Zhangjing presses the heel of his palm on his temple, sighing. He can see the waiter who brings out their orders—it’s iced Americano and cookies for Yanjun, vanilla latte and blueberry cheesecake for Zhangjing—looks down blushing when Yanjun tells her about the boyfriend thing, and it’s the exact reaction Yanjun was fishing for.

“Stop it, Lin Yanjun, you’re scaring her.”

“No, she just thinks we’re cute. Don’t you think so, Miss?”

The waiter nods hastily, eyes shifting between Yanjun and Zhangjing and she smiles hesitantly before excusing herself from their table. Zhangjing props his chin with his palms, looking at Yanjun half curious and half amused.

“What?” asks Yanjun when he catches Zhangjing’s eyes.

“Is having a boyfriend really that fun?”

Yanjun takes a sip of his drink and hums thoughtfully. “I don’t know, ask yourself. Is having a boyfriend like me fun?”

Zhangjing scrunches his nose, stuffing his face with a small piece of his blueberry cheesecake. The cake is soft and sweet and blueberry reminds Zhangjing of when Yanjun’s hair was purple, the colour suited him well but it didn’t last long. Zhangjing blinks, why is the thinking of Yanjun when he’s eating a cake with Yanjun sits across him on the very same table?

“It is,” Zhangjing’s answer comes as a soft murmur. “It is fun, having a, um, boyfriend like you.”

Yanjun smiles and Zhangjing loves to see when Yanjun’s dimples automatically appear on both of his cheeks when he smiles this wide. The transition puts two different expressions on Yanjun’s face and it feels like Zhangjing’s been hit by the fact that Yanjun is unquestionably an atrociously beautiful human being in the shape of a goddamn sledgehammer.

“Thank you, it’s fun to have you as my boyfriend too. I guess we’re equal? And now you know why I love to brag about you in front of people whom I meet. It’s impossible not to notice your presence because you’re an amazing person, but it’s possible to mistake me as someone else and not your boyfriend. Am I going to let that happen? The answer is, no.”

Zhangjing looks down to avoid Yanjun’s (still) sparkling eyes and to hide how flushed and hot his cheeks are, but he knows Yanjun has seen them first because he chuckles under his breath and pretends to be busy with his laptop. Zhangjing presses a hand to his chest and takes a deep breath.

Apparently being Yanjun’s ‘boyfriend’ isn’t doing good for his health so far.

 

 

43.

They have to change the filming location because Yanjun and Zhangjing’s faces have attracted a throng in front of the cafe and they are going to scream their names very soon—they came here peacefully and the cafe owner expects them to leave just as peacefully. The sun is getting high and the streets are getting busier, no wonder one or two or ten start recognising Yanjun and Zhangjing’s faces, along with the filming equipment all around the place.

They have to escape, Zhangjing’s brain tells him, but he doesn’t move and he watches Yanjun reacts first in blank face instead.

“Let’s go, we have to go before they have the chance to break through,” Yanjun says, collecting his stuffs and slinging his backpack in one shoulder. His free hand takes Zhangjing’s in his and pockets them inside his coat, fingers tightly gripping Zhangjing’s smaller ones.

“How are we going to go past them? They’re swarming around the front door already.”

Yanjun presses his lips into a thin line, thinking. “Do you trust me?” he asks Zhangjing. Zhangjing nods, giving Yanjun a questioning look. Yanjun squeezes his hand gently as if to answer Zhangjing, and leans down until his face is very, very close to Zhangjing’s. “Then come with me.” He cues one cameraman to follow them—Yanjun amazingly remembers they’re still on a show and in the middle of filming for that matter, while Zhangjing has completely lost on his train of thought and it takes him some time to put the mindset back.

Yanjun counts to three, and they start running.

 

 

42.

They are leaving the cafe through the back door and by the time the cameraman leads them to the main street, both Zhangjing and Yanjun are panting and laughing. They bow gratefully to the staff who helped them escape and they continue walking across the street, Zhangjing’s hand is still inside Yanjun’s pocket.

“That was close,” Yanjun says, wiping the sweat on his forehead with his free hand. He glances at Zhangjing and wipes the sweat on his forehead using his sleeves, grinning when Zhangjing looks up and blinks at him.

“Thanks,” Zhangjing says, face warm and rosy and he’s at the point where he won’t be able to avoid if Yanjun asks him why he’s blushing. It’s only been two days, but Yanjun has made Zhangjing realise how many things are different between them now under the context of boyfriends. Zhangjing can’t say he completely hates the discovery—not when he gets Yanjun being all sweet and gentleman for him even though it’s for entertainment purposes only.

“What are we going to do now?” Yanjun asks to particularly no one, eyes scanning around the area to see if there’s something interesting that catches his eyes. “Zhangjing, do you have any idea? We still have plenty of time.”

“Why don’t you go for a date?” the cameraman asks. Yanjun and Zhangjing exchange glances, Yanjun beams and before Zhangjing can utter a word, Yanjun is already tugging Zhangjing’s hand to follow him. The smaller man isn’t ready for the sudden movement and his nose bumps into Yanjun’s shoulder painfully.

“Ouch!” Zhangjing yelps, a bit irritated seeing Yanjun laugh beside him. “Hey, don’t laugh. Who do you think made me like-” the rest of the words die at the tip of his tongue when Yanjun’s crouches down to be on his eye level and caressing Zhangjing’s nose gently with his knuckles. Yanjun is smiling and his face is so close to Zhangjing that the proximity almost physically hurts him.

“I’m sorry, want me to kiss it better?”

“Oh, fight me.” Zhangjing rolls his eyes, betting himself that Yanjun won’t do it.

But if Zhangjing thinks he knows Yanjun enough, he’s downright wrong at the moment when Yanjun chuckles and places a hand on the nape of Zhangjing’s neck, pressing his lips against Zhangjing’s forehead. His lips linger on the place for two seconds and when he pulls away, Zhangjing’s legs nearly give up supporting his body.

“There, you must be feeling much better now.” Yanjun says and straightens his body, glancing at his pocket and he seems surprised that he isn’t yet letting Zhangjing’s hand go, but instead of disentangling their hands, Yanjun pulls them out of his coat and now they’re holding hands in open air again. “A date doesn’t sound like a bad idea. We can go to a nice place and start writing our lyrics, what do you think?”

“Whatever, you decide. I’ll still come with you, anyway.”

“How cute,” Yanjun muses, “okay then, let’s go to a place that my boyfriend will like it there, too!”

 

 

41.

On his individual interview, Yanjun tells the staffs about his plan to surprise Zhangjing on the next filming. He determinedly asks the staffs to keep it a secret from Zhangjing because he wants to see his boyfriend’s earnest reaction at something he’s going to do.

“Please don’t mention this to Zhangjing, not even one word. I really want this to work,” he tells the staffs. “I go to the filming site early in the morning, doing various schedules until evening, practice until dawn, and I still have to wake up to prepare this surprise. I sacrificed a lot for this so please don’t disappoint me.” He continues in lighter tone, laughing.

 _“Why the sudden idea to give Zhangjing a surprise?”_ a staff asks. It’s a good question, Yanjun thinks, but he doesn’t do a lot of thinking lately—specifically since the offer to do this program with Zhangjing came—and he hasn’t really thought of an answer.

An answer that won’t come out like someone who’s desperately in love with their best friend, who’s also his band mate, who’s also someone the whole nation loves for his heavenly voice and bright personality, someone who’s You Zhangjing. Yanjun decisively believes that someone is definitely not him.

“I and Zhangjing won’t be boyfriends for so long, I want to do something he, _us_ , will remember for a long time. I mean, of course we share a lot of moments together before and after this show, but this is something that will not happen twice in the future.”

_“Does your surprise have anything to do with the song you and Zhangjing are working on right now?”_

“Hmm, yes, more or less. I can’t finish this song alone, that’s why I’m calling for help.”

_“Do you think Zhangjing will like it? Your surprise?”_

Yanjun laughs nervously at the question. “Of course I hope he will like it,” he says demurely. “He isn’t the type who likes romantic things so it’s a little hard for me, but I think he will like this one. If he doesn’t, I will ask him to pretend he does,” he says with a little laugh. “You know, when you’re with Zhangjing, you can only think of ways to make him happier everyday when he’s with you. I think that’s how I feel when I’m preparing this surprise. I hope he will get my message of sincerity and it will help us to finish our song faster.”

 

 

40.

Zhangjing and Yanjun stay at the practice room longer than everyone else that night, they have to catch up to the formation and choreography for the fanmeet tomorrow—technically, it’s today, because when Zhangjing and Yanjun stop dancing and spread out their sore limbs on the wooden floor, it’s already past midnight.

“I think I’m going to die,” Yanjun groans, panting harshly. “I’ve never been this exhausted since my Idol Producer days, and I thought I would never have experienced this ever again. I’m entirely wrong and I feel betrayed.”

“Nobody asked you to expect that high from your idol days after Idol Producer,” Zhangjing huffs a laugh, panting just as harshly. “Xukun will kick us out of the dorm if we mess up the formation when we perform later.”

“Being homeless with you doesn’t sound that bad, though.” Yanjun says.

Zhangjing frowns, “It’s that bad for me. I don’t want to be homeless, I like it here.”

Yanjun groans, “Do you have to take everything literally? Do you think Xukun will really have a heart to kick us out like you said? He’s as soft as a puppy when he’s not performing on stage, he almost cried when he saw Chengcheng kill a cockroach three days ago.”

“Wasn’t that because Chengcheng smacked the cockroach using his slipper?”

“It was his slipper?”

Zhangjing laughs, his fatigue slowly dissipates as his stupid talk with Yanjun goes on. He turns his head to stare at Yanjun beside him, smiling when Yanjun stares back at him.

“We’re exhausted like this… but I’m sure I’m going to miss the time when we have to leave early for filming next week. Time flies so fast, and our song isn’t even halfway done.” Yanjun sighs loudly, but his eyes are fond.

Zhangjing rolls his eyes. “Are you complaining about our short time filming period or about our unfinished song?”

Yanjun shifts his gaze from Zhangjing to the ceiling. “I’m not sure. We have a task we haven’t finished and it stresses me out because the more I think of it, the more I remember that our filming period is so short and I’m sad because we get to meet a lot of good people and go to a lot of good places during filming. Do you get it? I know you get my point.”

“I don’t get your point,” Zhangjing says and Yanjun snorts. “But I agree, I’m going to miss these days as well.” He closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. Zhangjing hears Yanjun says something beside him but he can’t quite hear the full sentence.

“...friends days is over?”

Zhangjing opens his eyes, “Did you say something?”

Yanjun looks hesitant for two seconds before he shakes his head. “No, it’s nothing. Let’s try the choreography one more time and we can call it a day.”

Zhangjing agrees and accepts Yanjun’s hand when the younger offers his to help Zhangjing stand up.

 

_What are you going to do once our boyfriends days is over?_

 

 

39.

Zhangjing gets a heartwarming surprise at the filming site that day.

He and Yanjun part ways in a park on their way to their date (place still unknown because Yanjun refuses to tell him on their way here), Yanjun says he wants to buy Zhangjing a drink and asks Zhangjing to sit on a bench while waiting for him. Zhangjing sits there without any suspicion and doesn’t ask further, he still hasn’t suspected anything when a kid he doesn’t know sits beside him and hands him a rose, small paper is attached to the stem.

Zhangjing takes the rose, confused, but he smiles when he reads the letters on the paper. It’s a short impression of “Our Kind Xiao You”, the handwriting is messy so probably the kid writes it himself.

“Is this for me?” Zhangjing asks. The kid nods his head eagerly. “I watched you on TV every week and I liked you,” he says matter-of-factly. “When you like someone, you have to express it well so the person you like will get your message. That’s what Mom said to me, the handsome gege who came to our school yesterday said that as well.”

Zhangjing smiles, the fact that parents nowadays raise their kids so well amuses him. The handsome gege part bothers him a little, but he doesn’t push further. “Well, thank you, it’s really touching.”

The kid beams, “Do you like it?” he asks hopefully.

Zhangjing nods, ruffling the kid’s hair softly. “I do, I really like it. Thank you so much.”

The kid shakes his hand before he walks away, leaving Zhangjing alone with a rose on his hand. He’s still musing over the single rose when another kid comes, gives him a rose, and then leaves. It goes over and over again until Zhangjing has more than two dozens of roses and cute messages and only at that time does he realise Yanjun isn’t back yet.

Zhangjing’s eyes water with relieve and joyness when he spots Yanjun standing five feet away from him, looking handsome and perfect even from the distance. He’s smiling at Zhangjing, both hands are tucked inside his jeans pocket. Their eyes still fixed at each other when Yanjun walks closer and stops in front of Zhangjing and his roses.

“Do you like it?” He asks, voice gentle and soft and suddenly Zhangjing feels so, _so_ in love. If he isn’t falling for Lin Yanjun yet, then he definitely is this time. Zhangjing manages to nod and blink away his tears, but Yanjun has seen them first. He cups Zhangjing’s small face on his big hands, tilting Zhangjing’s head up to meet his gaze again. “Don’t cry. I made this surprise to see you laugh and be happy, not for you to cry.”

“I still cannot cry even though they are happy tears?”

“I still don’t want to see you cry. The camera is still recording, do you want to look ugly on screen?”

“You’re such an idiot,” Zhangjing says, tears rolling down his cheek without a warning. Zhangjing swears he’s not sad, and he isn’t going to cry because Yanjun is right—he doesn’t want to look ugly when they broadcast this episode, but the way Yanjun holds him is so gentle and Zhangjing positively _melts_ like high school teens when they’re seeing their crush. The tears coming down more frequently when Yanjun leans down to kiss his forehead softly, so damn soft like Zhangjing is made of glass and Zhangjing can feel his warm breath against his skin.

Zhangjing lets his tears seep into the fabric of Yanjun’s shirt when Yanjun pulls him into his embrace.

 

 

38.

 _“Give us your thought about the surprise Yanjun made for you,”_ is the first thing the staff asks Zhangjing on his individual interview after Zhangjing has calmed down and he stops crying and hitting Yanjun’s chest for being such a romantic idiot.

“I hate him, he made me look this ugly for this episode. Can we retake that scene after I touch up my makeup?” Zhangjing asks, touching the skin under his eye to check if his foundation still stays on place. The staff laughs and she points out that Zhangjing has to be honest about his feeling.

“Honest, huh? Well, of course I was really surprised and touched. I didn’t have any idea that he would do such a thing, but come to think of it that must be why Yanjun looked a little restless yesterday. Thankfully I didn’t notice because it’d ruin his surprise,” Zhangjing says, smiling fondly. “That big, handsome fool really went all out on this. It gets me thinking, if he wasn’t my boyfriend on this show, would I feel all sort of emotions I felt like when I’m with him? That’s why I’m glad it was him, because you see, Yanjun is always thinking of ways to make you happy when you’re with him. And I think... that’s the kind of boyfriend I need.”

_“Lin Yanjun said the goal of his surprise was to make something both of you would remember for a long time. Do you think he’d succeed in that?”_

Zhangjing nods as he laughs, Yanjun’s smiling face flashing on his head. “Yes, I’d remember it for a very long time. I mean, who else has the gut to do something like that for me, anyway? It’s always been Yanjun, and it has to be him. It won’t be the same if it’s from a different person.”

_“Do you have anything in mind to repay for what Yanjun has done to you?”_

Zhangjing hums, thinking. “Honestly, I’m not that creative of a person. I rarely arrange a special event for someone, even when I’m doing it, I’m doing it with my friends and the idea was always theirs, not mine. So the answer is no at this moment. I’ll think of a way to repay him, though. I don’t want to feel indebted to him.”

_“The last question, what was written on the papers attached to the roses you received?”_

“Oh, it’s a short impression of me, and they’re all good impressions, I’m surprised.” Zhangjing pauses momentarily to smile at the camera. “They are all so cute, I wonder what is Yanjun going to do with them. He definitely is up for something! He never does anything without a purpose.”

_“Maybe those are Yanjun’s impression of you, that he never said out loud?”_

“Maybe,” Zhangjing parrots, “but I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. What if Yanjun only did that out of boredom? My heart is going to break!”

 

 

37.

When the filming continues, Zhangjing and Yanjun are walking hand-in-hand again, Zhangjing starts to get used to this and he doesn’t twitch as much as he did on the early episodes. The roses are safely stored inside the trunk of the staff’s car and now they are on their way to get some ice cream.

“You owe me an explanation,” Zhangjing says, shooting Yanjun a look. “Tell me how did you even manage to get those kids to bring me flower, and wrote the impression about me too. Are you going to tell me that those kids watched Idol Producer and all of them could recognise me?”

“Some of them did recognise you from the show, the rest of them watched a dozen of your clips I slipped through their homeroom teacher. I paid for the roses, asked them to write something about you, met you here in the park and gave you a rose.”

Zhangjing blinks in disbelief, “You _knew_ their homeroom teacher?”

“A friend of a friend of mine,” Yanjun grins. “Anyway. I asked those kids because kids were honest, and I wanted them to express their thought of you in a pure and innocent way. That’s how I plan to write my share of lyrics in our song, but I don’t know how, so I asked for help. It worked, and you’re happy, it’s beneficial in either way.”

“So the handsome gege who came to school was you?”

“Yes, of course,” Yanjun cackles. “I can’t believe one of them actually said that! They were teasing me so much when I introduced myself like that in front of them.”

Zhangjing sighs and gives Yanjun an adoring look. “Thank you,” he says genuinely. “I could’ve never thought about something like that, but I know you would. Your head is full of surprising things as always.”

“If it’s for my boyfriend, why not?” Yanjun turns his head and winks at Zhangjing. Zhangjing looks away, pretending to be disgusted, but in reality he’s just trying to calm down and not to shriek because Yanjun looks so adorable Zhangjing’s heart nearly jumps out in full force.

“Shut up and let’s get the ice cream. Are you paying?”

“Sure, anything for my boyfriend,” Yanjun replies, earning a slap on his back from a flustered Zhangjing.

 

 

36.

The director has never told them explicitly about kiss scene, but Zhangjing thinks it has to be there, up to a certain point. It’s on the script too, but the details are up to Zhangjing and Yanjun themselves. When he first read the script Zhangjing thought it was _very_ ridiculous and he almost told Yanjun not to do it and changed it to something else instead, but now Zhangjing has different thoughts.

He hasn’t done anything for Yanjun the entire filming, and with Yanjun gave him a surprise today, Zhangjing feels like he’s broken the record and Zhangjing is left behind. He doesn’t want the viewers to see Yanjun as the only one who’s serious about this—actually, Yanjun absolutely was, and Zhangjing only gets  _a_ _little_ carried away recently—and it will affect the whole show and their images as well.

Just a little kiss won’t hurt, Zhangjing tells himself. He has kissed his friends on the cheek before, and no one had depicted it in other way than a simple friendly, brotherly even, gesture between them.

The plan goes like this: Zhangjing will kiss Yanjun on the cheek before the filming ends today. He chooses the timing because he and Yanjun are going to different schedule after this and they only get to meet again at the fanmeet venue much later, and Zhangjing will have enough time to gather his courage to meet Yanjun again.

Zhangjing steals a glance at Yanjun beside him, eating his ice cream happily like a little kid. He acts older than his age most of the time even though Yanjun and him are only one year apart, seeing him being at ease and loosening his uptight facade is truly something.

“You have a photoshoot today, right?” Zhangjing asks, digging the last spoon of his vanilla ice cream. “Is it for a magazine?”

“Yeah, it’s for a men fashion monthly magazine. Why? Do you want to take me there?”

“Do I have to?” Zhangjing clicks his tongue. “I thought I was your boyfriend and not your mother.”

“You’re my boyfriend, Zhengting is our mother,” Yanjun says, laughing. “I thought you asked because you wanted to take me there and watch, probably, or just wait for me and we can go together to the fanmeet venue right after that. The photoshoot isn’t going to take long.”

Zhangjing shakes his head and chuckles. “Thank you for your offer, but no, thanks. I have made a promise to practice with Justin so I won’t embarrass you guys on the fanmeet.”

“You’re going to do just fine, we’ve performed those songs like, a million times already.” Yanjun’s voice is latched with concern when he lifts up a hand to caress Zhangjing’s cheek. “Apart from I won’t let you overwork yourself with your packed schedule this week, isn’t it wrong that you prefer to be with someone else and not your boyfriend?”

Zhangjing laughs, “Xukun and Ziyi made a few changes with the choreography and the formation, even though I’m confident enough with my skill, I still need Justin to check on my performance.”

“Okay,” Yanjun gives in. “Let’s go, then. The manager will pick me up here and you can leave first.”

They throw the empty ice cream tubes to the nearest trash bin and walk toward a waiting car they know it’s their manager’s. Yanjun gives Zhangjing a brief hug and brushes his lips swiftly against the elder’s forehead. Zhangjing closes his eyes and bites his bottom lip, can’t get rid of the overwhelming feeling when he’s being this close, being this intimate with Yanjun.

Screw the cameras and TV staffs, Zhangjing doesn’t want to care.

He stands on his tiptoe and holds Yanjun down in place by his shoulders, leaning up to meet Yanjun’s cheek. His perfectly planned idea goes haywire when Yanjun unexpectedly turns his head at Zhangjing’s direction and Zhangjing’s lips pressed against Yanjun’s lips instead.

They freeze.

 

 

35.

It isn’t supposed to go like this.

Yanjun doesn’t think of anything when he feels Zhangjing pin him down with his small hands on his shoulders, but then he turns his head because he wants to tell Zhangjing something.

His lips meet Zhangjing’s lips instead, and both are too wide-eyed surprised to react first. Yanjun immediately forgets what he was about to say to Zhangjing.

Yanjun smiles so wide against Zhangjing’s lips after he gets all his senses back and it seems to jolt Zhangjing back to reality as he pulls away, face as red as a tomato.

“Oops, sorry. Should have kissed you properly.” Yanjun says with a grin. Zhangjing shoots him a look and hit his arm loudly, making Yanjun grimace in response.

“Oh my God, shut up.”

 

 

34.

Zhangjing covers his face on the entire interview, keeps groaning in despair because the director decides not to cut the scene and broadcast it as it is.

_“Did you plan the kiss?”_

“I did,” Zhangjing peeks from the gap between his fingers, “but what happened later was not my plan, not at all, I swear! It just happened that way and I was so surprised as well!”

_“It’s okay to kiss your boyfriend, though.”_

“I _know_ ,” Zhangjing exhales, fanning his face with his hands. “But I don’t think our kiss would go like this. It’s so far from romantic and it was a misunderstanding on top of it, do you think it could be any worse for us?”

_“Putting the misunderstanding aside, do you regret doing that?”_

Zhangjing bites his lower lip, and then he shakes his head. “No,” he answers confidently. “I don’t regret that. And it’s not a bad thing either… I just hope Yanjun won’t rub it on my face every time we meet after today because it’s so damn embarrassing.”

 

 

33.

_“How do you feel after the incident?”_

Yanjun grins, unable to answer and basically unable to function as a normal human being since that so called incident. Yanjun doesn’t want to call it an incident, but it seems like it. Yanjun was already surprised at the fact that Zhangjing was trying to kiss him, but he was more taken aback at how they ended up kissing instead.

This show has given him more than what he asked.

Yanjun grins even wider at the camera. It’s a surprise he can still hold himself from jumping up and down and hugging everyone in the room.

“I’m surprised, of course. It really caught me off guard. But I’m happy, I didn’t think it would happen this fast. The Heavens must’ve heard my prayers and granted it.” He says and laughs, and then pointing at the camera with serious face. “Please don’t edit the scene, let me share my utmost achievement as Zhangjing’s boyfriend with everyone who watches this program.”

_“Are you happy?”_

Yanjun covers his face with both of his hands, and when he puts his hands down his whole face is as red as a tomato. “Yes, I am. I am _so_ happy.”

 

 

32.

The night after the second day of filming, Zhangjing knocks on Ziyi’s room to ask him for help.

“Oh, it’s you,” Ziyi smiles and opens the door wider to let Zhangjing enter. “It’s late, what are you doing? Are you not sleeping?”

“I’m too wide awake to sleep,” Zhangjing replies and sits on the edge of Ziyi’s bed, waiting for Ziyi to sit beside him. “Can you help me making lyrics for a song? I have no professional experience on this and I just don’t know what should I do about it. The song is going to be released in front of the public so I want to write something ear-catching and definitely not embarrassing.”

“Is this about the program you do with Yanjun?” Ziyi asks. Zhangjing nods shyly. “Okay, I’ll try to help. What kind of song are you guys planning to make?”

“It’s a song we dedicate for each other since we’re playing as boyfriends on this show,” Zhangjing explains slowly. “The first verse will have Yanjun’s impression about me, and the second verse will have my impression about him. The chorus will be about us two, but we still haven’t thought about that part yet.”

“How cute,” Ziyi comments, laughing when Zhangjing whimpers in shame. “So the problem is, you don’t know how to turn your feeling for him into words and array them into good lyrics? Well, why don’t we start from the basic. Tell me how you see Yanjun, put yourself as his boyfriend now, not his long time friend nor his band mate. Try describing him in romantic way.”

“That sounds a lot more embarrassing when you put it that way,” Zhangjing groans. “Uh, okay, I’ll try. He’s someone who’s kind to me? He’s a reliable person, he listens to you—”

“Wait, not that,” Ziyi cuts in. “Yanjun is kind to everyone, and everyone knows he’s a reliable person. How does that make a difference between you and other people? Try describing about how he makes you feel, how you’re not feeling like yourself when he’s near you or something.”

Zhangjing gulps, “Like how he makes my heart explode when we’re holding hands?”

Ziyi pauses momentarily before nodding his head, giving Zhangjing a little smile. “Yeah, something like that. Are you holding your breath when he’s smiling at you? Do you feel butterflies when he’s close to you?”

Zhangjing twiddles with his fingers. “Wow. It’s going to sound way realer than it should be, though. Do you think it’s okay?”

Ziyi blinks, “You- wait. Are those feelings real? You really feel that way about Yanjun?”

Zhangjing bites his lower lip and nods. “In one way or another, I guess, yes. I mean, you can’t just go around telling everyone that you’re in love with someone you’re not supposed to be in love with, right? But yeah, those feelings are real, as far as I believe.”

Ziyi fixes his gaze at Zhangjing with concern on his eyes. “Are you sure it will be okay? You’re not supposed to, uh, mix your personal feelings into this. It’s only a TV program, after all.”

“It’s only for four days, I think I can endure for that long.”

Ziyi sighs and squeezes Zhangjing’s shoulder gently. “Alright then, Shakespeare, we have work to do here. You can write the rough version as short narrative for your verse, I will help you shortening them to make them sound more like song lyrics…”

 

 

31.

“Zhangjing-ge! I missed you!”

Justin jumps onto Zhangjing and almost knocks the smaller man over, luckily Justin is faster to pull him back up. He rubs his cheek against Zhangjing’s cheek happily, and Zhangjing can’t help but wanting to pet his head—so he does.

“We see each other everyday at the dorm and the practice room, what do you mean you missed me?”

“You’re always with Yanjun-ge these days, you never spend your time with us anymore,” Justin pouts. “You leave when everyone is still asleep and only back when we have a schedule or practice, but you keep sticking on Yanjun-ge’s side even at those times.”

Well, Zhangjing can’t disagree about that. He and Yanjun spend every limited free time they have to talk about the song and when they’re not talking about the song, they will always have something to talk about; Justin is not exaggerating when he says Zhangjing keeps sticking on Yanjun’s side even when all members of Nine Percent are together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t spend a lot of times with you guys. I will make it up after our filming is finished, we only have one day left anyway,” says Zhangjing and the last part of his own sentence pricks something inside him. It reminds him that he only has one day left as Yanjun’s boyfriend, and he doesn’t know what will happen when their contract has terminated.

Will everything back to normal, like nothing has happened between them? Will they be something more than friends, with the amount of things they shared only the two of them? Will Yanjun treat him as a mere friend and older brother like he used to? Will Zhangjing be able to tell himself that his feeling for Yanjun will not get anywhere far?

Zhangjing closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He’s a fool—he shouldn’t have mixed his personal feeling into this matter. But falling in love with Yanjun isn’t something he has planned before, he just _did_. It happened naturally, just like any other biological reaction in human body.

It felt right when he did, though. And it was already too late even when Zhangjing wanted to stop.

“Ge? What are you doing? Come on, you said you wanted me to check on your formation for our stage later!”

Zhangjing opens his eyes and smiles at Justin. “Sure, I’m coming.”

The thoughts about Yanjun is forgotten for a while.

 

 

30.

Yanjun joins them backstage when half of them are already changed for the event, half of them are waiting for their turn to get their makeup and hair done. Zhangjing has finished his preparation, he’s checking himself in the mirror and the corner of his lips curls upward when the mirror shows the reflection of someone he knows, still dressed in his black buttoned shirt with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow and black tight jeans.

“You’re here,” Zhangjing whispers in relief. He wasn’t even anxious about anything but seeing Yanjun again makes him breathe easier for some reason. “Are you done with the photoshoot?”

“Yeah,” Yanjun sneaks up behind Zhangjing to wrap Zhangjing’s small waist with his long arms, pressing a swift kiss on the back of his head. “Don’t wanna make my boyfriend wait. You look gorgeous today, by the way.”

Zhangjing looks down, blushing, and the memory of his accidental kiss with Yanjun makes him blush even harder. “Go, the stylist jiejie is waiting for you.”

“How about you? Were you waiting for me too?” Yanjun teases. Zhangjing laughs and nods, his cheeks tainted with pink and he doesn’t know how hard Yanjun is fighting the urge to kiss them right here, right now. Yanjun has the right as his boyfriend, but everyone else is here and it’s not going to be a nice sight.

Yanjun takes Zhangjing hand and gives him a light squeeze. “Wait for me here, I won’t be long. I promise. Let’s go together, okay?”

Zhangjing stares at his small hand on Yanjun’s, and then he nods.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you here.”

 

 

29.

The fanmeet goes well and everyone seems to have a lot of fun, including Zhangjing.

Zhangjing nails down his performance even though he doesn’t practice as much as the other did and he feels a little guilty about that (Justin, Ziyi and Xukun ensured him not to). Yanjun does well too, he looks extremely handsome tonight and it drives the crowd crazy every time he makes eye contact with them.

There’s something different about Yanjun that Zhangjing only notices today, though—how Yanjun’s eyes never seem to leave him even for one second. Zhangjing always feels like someone is staring at him, and when he turns his head Yanjun’s eyes are always on him. Yanjun doesn’t look away when his eyes meet Zhangjing’s, he’ll give him a smile instead—that one smile Zhangjing loves, and his heart swells.

Zhangjing is a goner and now he’s doomed.

 

 

28.

“Are you and Yanjun like, dating? For real?”

Zhangjing stops checking his in-ear at Zhengting’s question. They are preparing for another stage, everyone is minding their own business backstage and it’s probably the only private time Zhengting got to ask Zhangjing about this as he really _has_ to ask him now. “No, why?”

“It seems dangerous between you and him,” Zhengting walks toward Zhangjing and pressing a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, I’m not against you and Yanjun or anything, I’m just worried. I don’t want you to get hurt, Zhangjing. This is a dangerous game and you’ll lose control of it soon.”

Zhangjing fixes his gaze at Zhengting, “Why do you say that?”

“You’re in love with him,” Zhengting says, it’s a statement. It’s like voicing Zhangjing’s mind out, something he’s been scared to admit but he can’t stop himself from falling even deeper. “Are you sure he feels the same about you? Are you sure you’ll be okay after you’re done being boyfriends on TV?”

Zhangjing shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know, I’m not sure. These days I feel like I’m living inside a bubble of dream and I don’t want to wake up.”

“Then wake up now, before you’re going too far and the bubble bursts when you’re not ready.” Zhengting’s voice is gentle and Zhangjing knows he means no harm, but the words still hurt him somehow. Zhengting is right, he has to wake up sooner or later, and he has to live the way he used to—Yanjun will always be the man of his dream and the dream will stay as dream.

“Is it really easy to read me?” Zhangjing asks, forcing himself to laugh. “I don’t think I’ve talked about this to our members except Ziyi, because he helped me to write my song, but I know Ziyi isn’t the type who gossips around.”

“I noticed it way earlier than everyone else, most likely even earlier than when you came to Ziyi,” Zhengting answers. “I’ve had the feeling for some times now. I just knew something was different about you and Yanjun, and I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re a good guy, Zhangjing. You’re worth more than a fake relationship on TV.”

“Thanks,” Zhangjing says, and he means it. Really. “But for once I want to be this stupid guy who falls head over heels for his best friend and he’s happy enough at the fake relationship they share on a TV program. I’ll be fine, Zhengting. I’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right,” Zhengting claps him on the back and turns away, leaving for his own costume check.

Zhengting doesn’t mention about it again for the rest of the event.

 

 

27.

The night is still young when they wrap up the event.

It was a success, much to everyone’s relief. The managers leave their schedule free tonight and they have a day off tomorrow—it’s more than anything they could’ve asked. Linong and the others are planning to have a good, expensive meal (the managers are paying for it, they’re being _so_ generous for once and no one complains) for dinner and Zhangjing is just about to join to give them suggestion when someone suddenly grabs his arm and pulls him away from the other members. It’s Yanjun, and Zhangjing is not surprised anymore.

He pulls him to a quiet corner behind the stage. Zhangjing just follows him, curious, but then Yanjun stops walking and lets his hand go only to squeeze Zhangjing’s shoulders and pull him into a sudden hug, or more like a crash than an embrace. Zhangjing’s chest bumps into Yanjun’s front so hard he could hear some of his ribs breaking.

“Ouch,” Zhangjing forces out a laugh, hands flailing behind Yanjun’s back because he’s not sure where to put them. To his side? To Yanjun’s back? To Yanjun’s waist? It would still look awkward either way, so Zhangjing decides to pat Yanjun on the back in friendly gesture. _Very boyfriend-like, You Zhangjing, good job._ “Do you really have to drag me so far away if you’re only going to do this? I mean, we hug in front of the kids often, too. And they’re absolutely fine with it.”

“I know, it’s just - I don’t want them to disturb my time with you.”

Zhangjing laughs, “Since when do we need to have a special, private time together?”

“I thought I would have the privilege as your boyfriend.”

“You’re playing the boyfriend card whenever it’s convenient for you,” Zhangjing rolls his eyes fondly. “Fine, whatever. What do you want to do now?”

Yanjun’s smile grows. “Follow me.”

 

 

26.

Yanjun takes Zhangjing out to eat at a fast food restaurant not too far from their fanmeet venue.

A _freaking_ fast food restaurant. Zhangjing can’t help but laugh when Yanjun pushes the door open for him, face smug.

“Seriously? McDonald’s, out of all places you could bring me to?”

“I’m so fucking hungry and this is the closest and fastest way to get food. Also we’re still dressing in our fanmeet outfits and we literally have to sprint if someone spots us here.”

Zhangjing laughs, feeling like filming for their TV program all over again. “Okay, then. Let’s buy the food and eat it somewhere else, the fans are going to round up in this area soon, and the other members are going to look for us soon. That, unless you want me to inform them we’re taking our leave first?”

Yanjun makes a face, “No, don’t do that. They’re always so inclined to have you for themselves when you’re around, they will cast me out immediately. Don’t tell me you don’t even realise that?”

Zhangjing shakes his head, “What are you talking about? They’re all nice to me _and_ you.”

“Yeah, of course, there’s no way you would know about that, my boyfriend is loved by everyone,” Yanjun rolls his eyes. “Come on, let’s order the food. My treat.”

“So romantic,” Zhangjing coos. “Are we going to have candle light dinner next?”

“I’m taking it into consideration,” Yanjun replies cheekily. “But we have to save it for next time, because I’ve prepared a place for us to eat peacefully,” he adds and then starts ordering his food. Zhangjing shakes his head and lets Yanjun do whatever he wants.

It takes about five minutes for Zhangjing to take in the fact Yanjun rests his hand on Zhangjing’s waist the entire time and he doesn’t even hesitate to take Zhangjing’s hand into his when his order is finished and they leave the place together.

Yanjun has taken the boyfriend game into the next level, apparently.

 

 

25.

“Lin Yanjun.”

“Yes, babe?”

“Why are we here, again?”

“Because I want us to eat together peacefully and this is the place I told you earlier.”

Zhangjing looks bewildered as he keeps his eyes shifting from one place to another. “But this is _our_ car and this thing is bringing us back to the dorm, am I right?”

“That’s right,” Yanjun laughs. “The others are having dinner outside and they won’t be back until late, or at least until Zhengting has to get Justin home because it’s past his bedtime. We can work on the rest of our song in the meantime, so this is like a win-win situation for us.”

Zhangjing lets out a surprised laugh, that’s Yanjun and his endless weird ideas inside his head for you. He never fails to surprise Zhangjing with everything he does, and by everything Zhangjing means every single thing he does as Zhangjing’s boyfriend.

Zhangjing wants to ask him what Zhengting asked him backstage. What are they after the show has ended? What are they after they don’t have the obligation to call each other boyfriend, to act so close and intimate with each other on the screen? Why does Yanjun keep doing things that make Zhangjing’s stomach do somersault even when the cameras aren’t here?

Yanjun is a good boyfriend, Zhangjing is convinced ever since the first day of filming. He knows Yanjun will make his lover happy—either a boyfriend or a girlfriend, Yanjun knows how to treat them well, how to make them feel loved. The sudden twinge of realisation comes shortly after; this relationship is not permanent and Yanjun can find himself a lover to replace Zhangjing anytime. With that look, that personality, with being Lin Yanjun, who doesn’t want the honour to be the love of his life?

Zhangjing asks the question to himself as well. Does he want to? It’s going to be a blatant lie if he said no, but saying yes feels too much. Zhangjing doesn’t have enough confidence to be… loved _that_ way, _that_ much by Yanjun.

“Hey, baby, you okay?”

Zhangjing’s jerked back to reality and he almost screams seeing Yanjun’s face so close to him, worry is written clear on his face. Zhangjing smiles and nods after he calms his heart down, lifting up a hand to wipe the sauce on the corner of Yanjun’s lips.

“I’m fine, and you’re such a messy eater.”

Yanjun visibly freezes for a moment, before wriggling back to his seat and mumbling something that sounds vaguely like: _You’re quiet all of sudden, and you’re not eating. I’m worried, you know? I thought you were sick—_

“I heard that, silly. I’m fine, really. And sorry I made you worry.”

Zhangjing exhales and stares out of the window.

He wonders if Yanjun ever thinks the same too.

 

 

24.

The filming schedule got changed in the last minute and for the first time, Zhangjing and Yanjun will film with only one cameraman in site, and they’ll be filming on the dorm. The other Nine Percent members also have gotten the notice and they would not be home until the filming ends. The cameraman tells them he won’t be taking a lot of scenes here, they still have one whole day tomorrow.

“Is this your plan?” Zhangjing shoots Yanjun a look after the cameraman is done giving them instructions. Yanjun raises both his arms in surrender.

“No, it is not! _Why_ would I have planned something like that?”

“I don’t know, because you always have something weird coming out of your head?”

Yanjun gives Zhangjing a pained look, “I would’ve thought of something smarter days ago if it was my plan, babe.”

Zhangjing holds back his laughter, “Whatever. Change your clothes, we’re filming in the living room.”

“Should we do it in our room instead, to show the viewers that we sleep together in one room? Do we have to show them what we usually do when we’re alone in our shared room?”

Zhangjing glares at the younger when he sees even the cameraman smiles hearing those provocative words, “We don’t do anything in our room and please stop phrasing it like that, you idiot!”

Yanjun’s laughter still follows him even when Zhangjing slams the bathroom door shut out of embarrassment.

 

 

23.

The living room has suddenly turned into an immediate meeting room - except the room is filled with papers and roses—yes, roses. Zhangjing and Yanjun both sit on the carpeted floor, Zhangjing is now helping Yanjun tearing off the small papers from the flowers and his smile has never faded from his face. Sometimes Zhangjing has to stop and laugh when he finds one that is particularly funny, and then he’ll show it to Yanjun and they will laugh together.

“The flowers are withering,” Zhangjing points out, touching one of the roses with his fingertips.

“But my love for you isn’t,” Yanjun says nonchalantly. Zhangjing elbows his side, shooting him a disbelieving look.

“Do you really have to say that here?”

Yanjun shrugs, “I know you’d never think that way, but just in case you need some reassurement.”

Zhangjing laughs. “Well, thanks. I’m so well assured now. But really, Lin Yanjun, what are you going to do with them? Are you seriously writing your lyrics based on these?”

“You’re still doubting how inspiring these are for me? Just wait and see until I turn them into lyrics, then.”

“This episode is going to be so boring, just us sitting here silently and being busy with our own business,” Zhangjing laughs. “Let’s finish our song making session quickly and go out. Do you want to eat something?”

Yanjun looks up from his paper, “We just ate a moment ago, You Zhangjing.”

“I’m craving for something sweet, let’s go buy something sweet. Ah, I want bubble tea, that one brand Ruibin always drank during our Idol Producer days. Do you remember where he usually bought it?”

Yanjun raises one eyebrow at Zhangjing. “I can’t believe you’re bringing up another guy’s name in front of your boyfriend. Tell me now, is this still about the bubble tea or is it about Zheng Ruibin now? Do you miss him? Do you want to see him? Are you happy making fun of me?”

Zhangjing almost tumbles backward at how hard he’s laughing. He shifts closer to Yanjun and hooks one arm on Yanjun’s arm, resting his head on the younger’s shoulder when Yanjun doesn’t budge.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But I still want the bubble tea, though.”

“I have nothing against the bubble tea,” Yanjun says, the corner of his lips tugging upward in a half-hearted smile (he still looks so damn attractive). “We’ll get it from the different place Ruibin usually bought that. Deal?”

Zhangjing can’t stop his giggles from slipping out his mouth. “Deal.”

 

 

22.

“Can I read your lyrics?” Yanjun asks Zhangjing, palm facing upward. Zhangjing nods and gives him his notebook.

“Can I read yours too?”

Yanjun gives him his notebook without asking much. Both fall silent, carefully studying each other’s lyrics. Zhangjing takes each of Yanjun’s word into his brain and his smile grows wider as he goes on. The lyrics really sounds like Yanjun and he’s telling people about Zhangjing, except here Yanjun is talking about his boyfriend, about someone he cherishes, about someone who makes him happy like no one else, about someone he _loves_.

Yanjun’s lover would be so happy to have him, Zhangjing thinks. If an ugly fake relationship can make him fall in love with Yanjun for real—even though Zhangjing knows this is wrong, and it’s not that like can stay boyfriends forever even if he wants to, God, he _really_ wants to—Zhangjing wonders what kind of happiness someone would get from dating Yanjun for real.

“Did you write these yourself?” Yanjun’s voice stops Zhangjing’s mind from running wild. He stares at Zhangjing with something in his eyes that Zhangjing renders as amusement—adoration, perhaps, when he’s a little high. Zhangjing bites his lower lip and nods.

“Yeah, I mean I got some help too but I arranged the final version of those lyrics myself. Are they okay?”

“These are beautiful,” Yanjun exhales, smiling, baring his perfectly lined white teeth. “Ah, what should I do? I think I’ve fallen in love with your lyrics and our song isn’t even finished yet. I’m not going to survive after this program ends.”

Zhangjing laughs and pats Yanjun on the back. “You’ll be okay, your lyrics are beautiful too. We make a perfect combo, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Yanjun leans his cheek on the coffee table to peek at Zhangjing from below his eyelashes. “But I kinda prefer to be a perfect boyfriend for you.”

“Because I am one for you?” Zhangjing jokes.

Yanjun nods. “Of course you are. Now I’m afraid the whole nation is going to think the same and once we’re not boyfriends anymore, they’re all chasing after you.”

Zhangjing looks away, warmth spreads all over his face to the tip of his ears. “Don’t be silly.”

Zhangjing doesn’t want the whole nation to chase after him, he only wants one person to do that. He hopes it isn’t too much to ask.

 

 

21.

“We’re done with the lyrics and we will match it to the beat tomorrow, so basically our song is 85% done,” Zhangjing says to the camera. “I and Yanjun are going out for a bit, and my members are going to be here soon. They keep calling my phone saying we need to hurry up and wrap the filming because it’s very cold outside,” he continues, chuckling.

“Let’s go, let’s go. To the bubble tea that my beloved desires!” Yanjun shows up behind him, wrapping an arm around Zhangjing’s waist protectively. “Babe, don’t forget your coat. Or do you want to wear it together with me?”

“Please just stop,” Zhangjing hits Yanjun’s shoulder playfully and looks at the camera again. “Yanjun has found one shop around this area, and it’s not the one Ruibin usually drinks. It’s too bad, though. I’ll try to buy one when Yanjun isn’t around.”

“Do you think ‘when Yanjun isn’t around’ even exists in your dictionary?”

Zhangjing covers his mouth when he laughs as Yanjun pushes the door open and they step outside the dorm. The chill night wind slaps Zhangjing on the face and he regrets not taking his mask with him. He slightly shudders at the cold weather but suddenly the cold is replaced by something soft and warm and smells like Yanjun—because it’s _indeed_ Yanjun. He pulls Zhangjing close to him until their bodies are practically glued together, Zhangjing’s nose is nearly pressed against the skin of Yanjun’s neck.

“What?” Zhangjing looks up, trying to fight the urge to sniff on Yanjun’s neck to inhale deeper the scent of his cologne, of him. He meets Yanjun’s face with his brows furrowed instead when the taller is looking down at him.

“What? Do I need to ask for permission to hug my boyfriend?”

Zhangjing rolls his eyes, Yanjun sure knows all the good tricks for the camera.

 

 

20.

Zhangjing really, really doesn’t see it coming.

He and Yanjun are sitting on the pavement holding their bubble tea plastic cup, and the cameraman is doing something else behind them. The last scene for this session is done taken and they’ve wrapped up the filming nicely, so the last thing they have to do is going home and rest. They both decide to sit longer to breathe fresh air here though, and promise their manager they will be at the dorm soon.

Zhangjing doesn’t see Yanjun puts down his cup to lean over and kiss him on the cheek, it takes him by surprise when Yanjun’s warm lips suddenly landed on his skin. The shock hasn’t worn off his face when Yanjun leans in for the second time, this time capturing Zhangjing’s lips between his.

Zhangjing thinks he must’ve been dead. But he isn’t, because he can feel Yanjun pulling away from him to kiss him again, tilting his head for a better position, or angle, or whatever he’s looking for. Zhangjing’s entire body turns into a statue and he can’t do anything, not even blinking for the sake of God. He can feel Yanjun’s breath ghosting over his lips when he pecks Zhangjing’s lips for the last time before pulling away completely.

(Zhangjing can’t even refuse when Yanjun holds his hand on their way back to the dorm.

“My boyfriend is so cute,” Yanjun says, and Zhangjing kicks the back of his knees in response.)

 

 

19.

A day off for Nine Percent is still a busy day for Yanjun and Zhangjing. They leave early that morning to continue filming, and they will need to prepare the guerrilla concert by the end of the day. Yanjun looks extra excited since they leave the dorm, and Zhangjing can even hear he whistles happily on his individual interview.

Zhangjing doesn’t know how to feel about this, though. He’s happy their song only needs the last touch to be completed, but after that, and after the guerrilla concert, he and Yanjun will be back to You Zhangjing and Lin Yanjun as Nine Percent members, as best friends, and everything that had happened in the past four days will become history.

But Zhangjing’s feeling is far more complicated than a fake relationship on television—he can’t just put an end on his feeling for Yanjun after the program ends. And there’s exactly where the problem lies.

Yanjun chooses a cozy coffee shop in a remotely quiet area to avoid the accident last time from happening twice. Zhangjing isn’t really fond of running too, so he agrees right away. The shop is busy with their morning routines and they don’t seem to mind with Zhangjing and Yanjun filming there.

Zhangjing likes this place. It feels oddly comfortable being here, like he’s been visiting this place several times before even though it’s actually his first time. This shop doesn’t try to accentuate modernity like most of coffee shops Zhangjing’s seen these days, maybe because their main marketing target is not high schoolers or college students who come in groups to look for fancy places as background for their Instagram posts, but people who come and stay for the coffee, for the small talk with their company.

“I really like this place,” Yanjun says, guiding Zhangjing to a table for two. “We should come here again next time. It’s a little far from our dorm but it’s worth it, there aren’t many places like this in this big and busy city.”

“Yeah, the kids will love this place too. It’s really comfortable and peaceful here.”

“The kids?” Yanjun repeats, “But I meant we as in, _we_ , you and me. Us. This place won’t be as comfortable and peaceful if those kids are here too. Can you imagine Chengcheng and Justin? And Linkai? And even Linong? And Zhengting trying to make all of them shut up?”

Zhangjing laughs. “You make it sound like our team is a bunch of bad people.”

“They are not bad, obviously, they’re just noisy.”

“I agree. Then, I’ll take it as a proposal for another date with the greatest You Zhangjing?”

“Is it necessary to rub on your ego, like, right now?” Yanjun pretends to be annoyed, but he’s smiling. “Yes, it’s a proposal to go on another date with the greatest You Zhangjing. Are you happy?”

Zhangjing nods, laughing. He’s pulling out the chair to sit down when he hears Yanjun mumbles, “I was thinking of you when I chose this place.”

It was a mumble but it’s loud enough for Zhangjing to hear. He can’t fight his smile, so he lets it tug the corner of his lips upward. “Really? What did you think about when you chose this place?”

Yanjun shrugs, taking a seat beside Zhangjing instead of sitting across him—because he wants the process of their song making to be easier, he says—and giving him a quick glance before he’s busy preparing his laptop. “I’m not sure, I just thought of a place that would make you feel comfortable being there for a long time, a place that would not bore you, and a place that would serve good coffees.”

“I didn’t know you had such good eyes for things like that.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Zhangjing. That’s why extended period of dating is required for you to know me better.”

Zhangjing hits Yanjun’s shoulder, hard. “Tell me what do you want to drink, I’ll make our order.”

 

 

18.

Their song is finally, finally completed, and it’s so beautiful, Zhangjing could swear. He almost tears up when Yanjun puts the last word into the note, making it a whole song now. Yanjun stares at him, satisfaction is written clear on his dark orbs.

“Thank you for your hard work,” Yanjun says, eyes glisten and Zhangjing is suddenly so, _so_ soft he nearly cries.

“You too,” Zhangjing whispers. “These days hadn’t been easy on us but at least we’re done for now.”

Yanjun suddenly leans in, the proximity starts to get dangerous now—Zhangjing’s body immediately freezes, the memory of Yanjun kissing him last night still fresh on his mind. Is he really going to do that? In front of the camera with everyone here watching them?

Yanjun kisses the tip of Zhangjing’s nose and Zhangjing flinches—both relieved and disappointed Yanjun didn’t kiss him on the lips—eyes automatically shut tight. He opens his eyes when Yanjun straightens his back on his seat, collecting his stuffs. Zhangjing lets out a long breath he didn’t realise he was holding in.

“Now our very last mission is to perform a street concert with this song, right? But it’s going to be weird to just sing one song, what about we perform one each and this one is the peak performance?” Yanjun asks, pulling out his notebook to write down the plan.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Zhangjing nods. “Do we have to bring the equipment or we’ll just do it in acoustic version?”

“Acoustic,” Yanjun quickly decides. “It’s simpler, easier, and I can just steal the guitar for a day from Xukun’s room.”

“You can just ask him nicely instead of stealing, but okay.” Zhangjing chuckles. “Let’s go? We still have a lot of things to prepare for our event.”

Yanjun nods, smiling. He gets up, takes Zhangjing’s hand into his when Zhangjing gets up from his seat, and walks with Zhangjing’s fingers safely intertwined with his long ones.

 

 

17.

The preparation takes longer than expected and Zhangjing’s energy is drained the moment they’re heading back to the dorm. Zhangjing rests his head on Yanjun’s chest (Yanjun makes him do it) and he’s so close to drift off by how safe and secure he feels within Yanjun’s embrace, with his hand gently patting the small of Zhangjing’s back.

“Sleep,” Yanjun says with a commanding tone and Zhangjing can feel his chest slightly vibrates when he speaks. “I’ll wake you up when we’re arrived.”

“You always ask me to sleep, aren’t you bored when you have no one to talk to inside the car? Our ride is pretty long.”

“Unlike you, I can survive without talking or singing for the whole ride, so I know I’ll be okay.”

“Your insult was unnecessary.”

“Your comment was unnecessary as well, baby.”

Zhangjing doesn’t talk back, enjoying the way Yanjun presses his chin on the crown of Zhangjing’s head and Zhangjing follows the rhythm of his chest rises and falls along with his breath as he closes his eyes.

Zhangjing faintly remembers Yanjun presses a soft kiss on his hair before his vision turns all black.

 

 

16.

In his individual interview, Zhangjing shares his excitement about his and Yanjun’s newly finished song.

“It’s going to be a memorable stage for us, we’re performing it for the first and last time after all. We—well, at least I did—spent our days and night to make a great song, I hope everyone can confidently give love and feel loved after hearing our song!”

_“Your concert will also mark the last day of you and Yanjun together in this show, right? How do you feel about that?”_

Zhangjing doesn’t respond promptly at the question. He nods several times, contemplating the words he’s going to say next. He feels empty suddenly; these four days had been hectic as hell and he’d been so exhausted splitting his concentration in group schedules, daily practice and filming, but Zhangjing had always woken up with some sort of excitement everyday, waking up early to write his lyrics and looking forward to whatever he and Yanjun are going to do that day.

These four days had been the best days and he spent them with Yanjun, Zhangjing thinks it’s only natural he doesn’t want them to end. Yanjun as his _boyfriend_ is something only his wildest dream could afford and Zhangjing now doesn’t want to let that side of Yanjun go.

“It’s a little unfortunate that the end comes so fast, we haven’t travelled outside the country yet,” Zhangjing forces out a laugh. “But I’m still thankful for the great opportunity to try something so fresh and new, if I didn’t do it now I’d probably never had the chance to. I also got to work with a lot of good people, another thing I’d never forget about this project.”

_“We know it’s a little to soon, but please share with us. How is Yanjun as a boyfriend for you?”_

Zhangjing presses his lips into a thin line. “He’s a good boyfriend, no, he’s the best I and anyone else could ask for. He doesn’t show affection often because he talks a lot and he usually flirts with everyone and everything, but he always wants you to know how sincere he is through the littlest thing he does. And I think it’s so… sweet, it’s not dramatically romantic, but I could get his message and I think it’s enough.”

_“Do you think you’re good enough as a boyfriend for him as well?”_

“I don’t know, honestly I don’t know,” Zhangjing answers, laughing. “I and Yanjun had been friends for so long and there were times when I forgot I was his boyfriend while doing this project, because we’re originally close to each other even before we debuted. You should ask Yanjun to get an answer, but I do hope I am good enough as a boyfriend for him. Ahh, this is so weird talking about it to other people like this!”

 

 

15.

Nine Percent members crash onto the couch in the living room noisily, fighting to take control of the TV channel they’re watching after having dinner. Zhangjing doesn’t care about the program as long as he gets to sit on the couch, and he guffaws when his small figure almost completely disappears, engulfed behind Linong, Chengcheng, Justin, and Ziyi’s big builds who thrust in the couch at the same time as him.

They’re watching some night drama Zhengting chooses for them after he wins the useless fight against the kids—everyone groans, but then Xukun and Linkai bring out two big bowls of popcorn from the kitchen and they decide that the drama isn’t too bad to watch. Zhangjing is busy stuffing his face with the tasty caramel flavoured popcorn when Linong asks him where Yanjun is, because he isn’t there with them just yet.

“He’s in the shower, you know it takes him a year to finish one.”

Linong laughs, he grabs some popcorn and clears his throat. “Ge, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Zhangjing turns his head, “what is it?”

“Are you and Yanjun-ge… um, dating? I mean outside the filming site?”

Zhangjing stops munching on his popcorn. “No, we’re not. Why are you asking something like that?”

“No, it’s just…” Linong scratches the back of his neck, unsure how to put whatever he’s about to say into words. “I know we’re close with all the members, and we often sleep and even drool at least once on each other when we’re inside the car, but we don’t, um, kiss each other on the forehead or play with their fingers when one of us is asleep… on our chest. I mean, I’m okay if you and him are dating, I’m happy for you! You don’t have to hide it from me if you think I’ll say bad things about it, really.”

Zhangjing blinks, surprised that Linong notices Yanjun’s new habit on the car. Zhangjing is always too tired to open his eyes when they’re going back after a schedule these days, and he’s always seated right beside Yanjun (he doesn’t know how is that possible), and Yanjun will always put Zhangjing’s head on his shoulder or his chest, wrapping one arm around Zhangjing and kissing his hair or his forehead. Yanjun seems to get used to it already, but the other members are surely not.

Zhangjing coughs, blushing uncontrollably. “Maybe he’s just too much into his character,” he reasons, even Zhangjing can’t believe the bullshit but that’s the best he could manage right now. “Yanjun is really excited about being in this program, so maybe he takes everything a little too seriously.”

Linong gives Zhangjing a sad smile, “Will you be okay, though? Being in a fake relationship like this? Will you get hurt after the fake thing is over?”

Zhangjing rolls his eyes, “Oh, come on. Do I look like someone who will get my heart broken by Lin Yanjun?”

Linong fixes his gaze on Zhangjing and then he nods hesitantly. “If Yanjun-ge is too much into his character, then I think you respond to his character a little too seriously. You look happy, ge, really happy. I don’t think something is wrong with that, but if your fake relationship is what makes you this happy, then it’s… not right. Because you’ll be no longer happy once it’s over, and it’s not something you can repeat.”

Zhangjing opens his mouth to argue, but Zhengting turns around and glares fiercely at everyone who makes a noise. Zhangjing closes his mouth again, Linong’s words echoing inside his head. He remembers Zhengting has warned about the same thing, and he stubbornly retaliated.

Tomorrow his fake relationship with Yanjun will end for real. Is Zhangjing ready to enshroud everything about Yanjun in the farthest corner of his brain, hoping it will stay unseen until Zhangjing is strong enough to get over it?

He leans his back on the couch, closing his eyes. When he opens them again, Yanjun’s face is right above his, the fringe of his hair dripping water to the side of Zhangjing’s face. Zhangjing blinks at him, and Yanjun smiles. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Zhangjing replies. “Just thinking.”

“Don’t think too hard, you’re going to hurt your head,” Yanjun chuckles and leans down to kiss Zhangjing’s forehead. “Go to sleep, you have to reserve your voice for tomorrow.”

“I know,” Zhangjing says. “You too. Don’t stay up late.”

Yanjun smiles, dimples showing, and he ruffles Zhangjing’s hair softly. “I know.”

 

 

14.

Zhangjing thinks about the time when Yanjun kisses him on the sidewalk that night too often for his own good.

It still feels unreal even for him now—Yanjun didn’t ask the crucial line like, “May I kiss you?” or initiated the kiss with something along the line of, “You look beautiful, can I kiss you?” because he literally just _went_ and kissed Zhangjing—and both of them never bring up the topic again until today.

Zhangjing wants to ask, though. He wants to know if Zhangjing ever crosses Yanjun’s mind in a way that is not platonic, he wants to know if Yanjun can’t sleep at night thinking about when Zhangjing accidentally kissed him during filming. Was it affected his mental state like how Yanjun’s kiss to Zhangjing did? Did Yanjun smile so wide he hurt his jaw? Did Yanjun wonder why Zhangjing had suddenly kissed him out of the blue?

Zhangjing wants to ask why Yanjun often kisses him on the forehead lately. He wants to ask why Yanjun often offers Zhangjing a hug, almost never lets go until he’s forced to. He wants to ask why Yanjun treats him more like a boyfriend lately, when their fake relationship is about to end.

(Zhangjing has the answers stored safely inside his head, the scenarios with happy ending of him and Yanjun after the show he made himself. Zhangjing isn’t sure how to get up on his own feet if later he finds out that Yanjun has different answers.)

 

 

13.

“Oh my God, I’m nervous.”

“Don’t say that, Lin Yanjun. Earlier on the car you told me you’re going to be confident enough for both of us.”

“Yes, it was before we’re arrived here and look at how many people are waiting for us. This is like a real Nine Percent concert.”

Zhangjing laughs at Yanjun beside him, clapping him on the back. “Not entirely wrong since we’re indeed Nine Percent and we’re having a mini concert here. Come on, don’t make them wait longer.”

Yanjun’s nervousness is plausible, because the amount of people who responded at the invitation post Yanjun made last night on his account was higher than both of them had expected. The other members got themselves involved and everyone ended up re-posting Yanjun’s post with short congratulatory message of having a concert ahead of Nine Percent, it made the range of response get even wider. No one’s at fault, but now Yanjun and Zhangjing have to face the crowd all by themselves thanks to them.

Yanjun holds Zhangjing’s wrist before Zhangjing opens the door, “We’re gonna be okay,” he tells Zhangjing.

Zhangjing nods at him, “Yeah, we’re gonna be okay.”

 

The cheers erupt when Zhangjing and Yanjun get off the car, following them to the stage he and Yanjun prepared last night. The stage is small, only two chairs and two loudspeakers are situated in the middle of the crowd. Yanjun insisted to make it as simple as possible so it would bring the audience closer to them by the song and not by the fancy decoration. Zhangjing and Yanjun only had a few hours to set the stage up back then, so Zhangjing just went with whatever Yanjun’s plan was.

Yanjun strums his guitar (Xukun’s guitar, he really did steal it from the leader’s room), Zhangjing checks the microphone beside him. Everything is good, they can start now.

“Hello, we’re Nine Percent! I’m Nine Percent’s You Zhangjing, I’m here with Nine Percent’s Lin Yanjun. You must be surprised at the sudden invitation Yanjun made last night on his page, and we’re so happy looking at the heartwarming responses, even though we didn’t prepare much.” Zhangjing glances at Yanjun, and Yanjun nods. “Today, we’re preparing three gifts for all of you. First one is from me, the second one is from Yanjun, and the third one is from us. The last song is the most special because I made from the scratch, but of course I’m not alone. I made it along with my boyfriend—” the crowd goes crazy in an instant, “—and the boyfriend I’m talking about is here, sitting beside me, holding a guitar, looking handsome as ever. Don’t you guys agree?”

Zhangjing can’t help but laugh at the uproar, the fans cheering so loud it almost feels like an earthquake. Yanjun gives him a sign to get ready and Zhangjing nods at him, enchanting the crowd with his magical voice when he starts singing.

 

 

12.

Zhangjing tears up at the third song.

The song speaks like a flashback for him, from the start of this crazy project, to everything he and Yanjun did together, to the painful realisation of his love for Yanjun—which is real despite the fake relationship they both are aware of.

He still thinks Yanjun is a good boyfriend, he will always think that way, but as the performance goes on he knows it’ll end soon; the relationship was brought to the surface for entertainment purpose at the first place, and Zhangjing blames himself for getting carried away and now he can’t escape.

Yanjun almost stops playing his guitar when he sees Zhangjing become a crying mess, but Zhangjing gives him a sign to keep playing and ignore him. It’s going to end soon, anyway, Yanjun doesn’t have the obligation to keep doing boyfriend-ish things for Zhangjing for the sake of anyone.

Zhangjing blinks his unshed tears away.

 

 

11.

Zhangjing knows Yanjun is full of surprise, he’s kind of starting to get a grip of that side of Lin Yanjun after being practically inseparable with him for almost a week. But if he thinks he can predict what kind of surprise Yanjun has on his sleeve, he’s wrong.

After their performance ends, they bid everyone farewell and Yanjun takes Zhangjing’s hand to leave the stage. Zhangjing lets out a choked sob, unable to contain his feelings any longer. Everything is just too overwhelming—the fans loved their song, their guerrilla concert was a success, and his feeling for Yanjun was blatantly exposed in the song he sang earlier although Yanjun probably didn’t realise that. Zhangjing feels like he has nothing else to hide in front of Yanjun, but also feels like he cover everything too well and Yanjun doesn’t even get the idea.

Yanjun still holds his hand tightly, walking through dozens of people who are screaming their names, and in the middle of the hustle Yanjun suddenly stops and cups Zhangjing’s face with both of his hands, tilting his head to kiss Zhangjing’s lips.

Yanjun _kisses_ him right there, in front of everyone, although he isn’t sure how many people notice the sudden and brave action but it really doesn’t matter now—nothing really matters for Zhangjing with his head light and dizzy after the kiss.

Yanjun pulls away a second later, grinning but there’s sadness in his eyes. Zhangjing doesn’t even have the time to digest what the hell is happening because Yanjun is already tugging on his arm, prompting him to run.

So they run.

 

 

10.

They stop somewhere—Zhangjing doesn’t _know_ where, his brain is too worked up to think—it’s hidden from the crowd and the cameras aren’t following them, Yanjun pulls Zhangjing into a tight embrace, as if Zhangjing would disappear the moment he pulls away.

“I really don’t want this to end,” he whispers in Zhangjing’s ear, breathing rapidly and his voice trembling like he’s been holding all his emotions inside all this time, not wanting it to show it to everyone but Zhangjing. It seems like it. “I don’t want _us_ to end.”

Zhangjing sighs and hugs Yanjun back just as tightly.

“Me too,” he whispers, inhaling Yanjun’s scent—his favourite—as much as he can. “Me too.”

 

 

9.

As much as Zhangjing and Yanjun want to stay as they are, the program still has to end. The director never stops showering them with gratitude for finishing the filming schedule without any problems, and the staffs don’t have to readjust Nine Percent’s group schedule because Zhangjing and Yanjun finished everything on time.

The director promises to take them to dinner after the first episode is broadcasted, and he promises to give them more presents if the rating of the show turns out to exceed his expectation.

“Please have your last individual interview before we wrap everything up and leave,” the director says. “It’s been really nice working with you guys.”

The individual interview only takes ten to fifteen minutes at most. The countdown goes smooth and fast, just like a hourglass. They’re going to be _just_ You Zhangjing and _just_ Lin Yanjun in a blink of eyes, as fast as a hourglass emptying its one side.

 

 

8.

_“Why did you cry during your last stage, when you were singing your project song with Yanjun?”_

“I’m breaking up with my boyfriend, of course I’m going to be sad and cry,” Zhangjing laughs. “No, but really. I was feeling so overwhelmed by how great the audience response was to our song, how excited they were to hear us sing. I felt like my hard work was finally paid off, it felt amazing, but also sad at the same time. I thought, the ending is here, I’m going to wake up as a different person tomorrow.”

It’s not entirely wrong, because Zhangjing can’t picture himself waking up tomorrow without Yanjun as the first thing comes to his mind, without Yanjun calling him with cheesy pet names that makes the other members cringe, without going somewhere with Yanjun, only two of them.

_“Do you have anything you want to say to Yanjun, something you can’t tell him directly?”_

Well, there are a lot and more than half are going to sound exactly like a confession, so he isn’t sure if he wants to say it here or not. Zhangjing’s eyes wander, thinking. “Thank you for being such a good boyfriend for me, thank you for doing a lot of things worth remembering with me. It was a honour to be your boyfriend, and…” Zhangjing bites his lower lip, a little unsure, but then he goes on. “And thank you for making me feel loved and special in a way only you can do. I really, really, really like you, Lin Yanjun!”

 

 

7.

“Can I sleep on your lap?” Yanjun asks Zhangjing in the car when they’re heading home. Zhangjing stutters, but then Yanjun isn’t really waiting for his answer and already resting his head on top of Zhangjing’s thigh, folding his knees because his legs are too long for the back seat. Zhangjing holds his hands in the air, bewildered. It’s clear that Yanjun wants to wipe away the awkwardness because they are not boyfriends anymore, but it what makes Zhangjing feel weird.

He can’t tell himself that he’s doing it for the show anymore, can’t assure himself that he can, and will, take care of his feeling for Yanjun once the program ended because he can’t and he won’t—and it’s the fact.

“Do you think we’re both going to be okay after this?” Yanjun asks, voice low and hesitant, it almost sounds like someone else talking. “Are we really okay, being back as friends like nothing had happened? Or are we going to act like exes, who had forced to break up due to the circumstance?”

Zhangjing looks at Yanjun’s eyes, searching. He doesn’t even know what he’s searching for—maybe something that will tell him that Yanjun feels the same way with him, that he’s also sad about their relationship comes to an end in the same reason Zhangjing does.

“I don’t know,” Zhangjing answers, fingers absentmindedly running on Yanjun’s hair. “I really don’t know. Everything comes and goes so fast and I didn’t have time to think about the aftermath.”

Yanjun closes his eyes. “When I agreed to do this program, I didn’t think much. We’ve watched a season and it seemed fun, and I thought it was just like that, having fun with your best friend while calling him your boyfriend, could something bad really come from something so fun and thrilling? But then as the show goes on, I start to realise how much four days can change us.”

“Yeah,” Zhangjing agrees. “Do you like the change? Or do you want us to go back like four days ago, before any of this happened?”

Yanjun doesn’t answer and Zhangjing doesn’t think it’s his place to conclude the situation. So he waits and waits, even though the silence is suffocating.

“I won’t say I dislike the change because it’s not how it is to me, but I don’t know. Do you like it? Will you be okay if I want us to change entirely, completely? Are you ready to take the consequence with me?” Yanjun says after a while. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Zhangjing. Dragging you to come to this show was my idea after all. I don’t want to change what you don’t want to change between us.”

Zhangjing gulps, tears are brimming at the corner of his eyes. Now, this feels _a lot_ like breaking up, and it’s hurting him in an unexplainable way.

“Do you… perhaps, do you like me?”

Yanjun lets out a little embarrassed laugh at the question. “I do. I _really_ do, and the show has done nothing other than emphasising every little detail about how I feel about you in these four days. But I know that we’re not supposed to mix personal feeling with work, that’s why I don’t want to drag you even further in this—in my fantasy about being your boyfriend outside the show. I’m not ready to wake up one day, realising everything is only temporary between you and me.”

Zhangjing gasps—Yanjun thinks _exactly_ like him, and he can’t help but laugh at their tomfoolery. It turns out that they actually feel the same way, but both of them don’t know and both of them decide to keep assuming about the other instead of talking it out and communicating like a decent human being.

“Why are you laughing?” Yanjun asks, he looks a little upset seeing Zhangjing laugh at his heartfelt confession. “Did I say something funny?”

“No, you didn’t,” Zhangjing wipes his eyes—now everything is way too funny and he wonders what’s his tears doing there. “We’re both fools, Lin Yanjun. Do you know that?”

 

 

6.

Zhangjing calls Yanjun out to talk after practice that night. Everyone has left first, leaving only Zhangjing and Yanjun behind. It reminds Zhangjing of when they had to catch up with practices during filming, the day when Yanjun gave him piggyback ride back to the dorm even though Yanjun has always been the person who complains the most about Zhangjing’s weight.

“What is it that you want to tell me?”

Zhangjing takes Yanjun’s hand in his, something Yanjun always takes the initiative, but now Zhangjing wants to surprise Yanjun. It seems to work, Zhangjing can see Yanjun’s eyes widen and his pupils follow the motion of Zhangjing’s hand.

“These four days had changed me as well,” he starts. “You asked me if I like the change or not, you asked me will I be okay if you want us to change completely. You asked me if I’m ready to take the consequence with you. What if I say yes to answer those questions?”

Yanjun’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You- wait, what? You? Wait, what is this about? Are you serious?”

“I am very serious.”

Yanjun blinks several times as if to double check his sobriety. Zhangjing nods at him, and Yanjun finally loses it—he holds Zhangjing’s face with his hands and kisses him square on his mouth, teeth messily clanking against each other as they laugh breathily into the kiss.

“I really didn’t expect this from our four days relationship,” Zhangjing tells Yanjun after they pull away. “Wait, let me rephrase it. I _had_ imagined it in one way or two, in a scenario I made inside my head, when my night was filled by nothing but the thought of you. But I didn’t expect the situation to be so foolish.” Zhangjing shakes his head and laughs. “I really thought you’re going to break my heart. Zhengting and Linong knew and they warned me about _this_ , but I blindly let myself fall deeper to you without knowing what would happen in the future.”

“Well, that’s harsh. Have you ever thought that I would be a perfect and caring _real_ boyfriend instead of that terrible idea of yours about me?”

Zhangjing shrugs, “You already are on the show. How am I supposed to tell the difference? I didn’t even dare to think about you as my boyfriend outside the filming site. I wanted it, but I was afraid it would be too much and I would hurt myself.”

Yanjun squeezes Zhangjing’s hand and pulls him down to sit on the wooden floor. “I once asked you what are you going to once our boyfriend days are over, but you didn’t hear my question and I didn’t ask again.”

Zhangjing tilts his head, “And why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid, I guess. I was afraid you wouldn’t give me the answer I was hoping for, since you didn’t notice my hints at all for the entire show. I nearly gave up on you, but I decided to give it one last try after our performance. If you didn’t run away when I kissed you, I would fight for you no matter what it takes.”

Zhangjing raises a brow at Yanjun, “You were dropping hints? When?”

Yanjun rolls his eyes, pinching Zhangjing’s cheek playfully. “Forget it. I regret doing that, though, I should’ve never flirted with you and just came out straight with a confession. It worked better that way, see?”

 

 

5.

Zhangjing asks Yanjun the questions he’s been wanted to ask—about the kiss on the pavement (“You looked so cute and I could not hold myself.”); about the lack of dramatic and crucial line before the kiss (“Is that necessary? I don’t think so, I’ll just kiss you when I want to.”); about his sleepless night thinking about their accidental kiss (“Yeah, I think about it a lot. I think that you should kiss me more often, but you seemed so traumatised by that so I didn’t bring up the topic, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”).

Zhangjing gets the answers to all his questions, a peck on the lips and a warm embrace to close his confession night. It’s still funny whenever Zhangjing thinks about it; pondering how long they’ll stay as fools if this goes on. Pining, Zhangjing firmly believes, is such a bitch, indeed.

“Let’s get back baby, I’m tired.” Yanjun gets up first, offering a hand to Zhangjing. “We need to wake up early and go to the filming site tomorrow,” he teases.

Zhangjing accepts the offer, laughing.

 

 

4.

Yanjun kisses Zhangjing before he closes the bathroom door, takes him by surprise.

“Let’s go on a date again when we have free time. I still owe you one date to the coffee shop we visited yesterday.”

“Sounds great, do we need to bring your laptop and write another song?”

“No, I want you to stare at me all day to make up for our foolishness that almost breaks our hearts.”

Zhangjing bursts out laughing. “You’re so silly.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course, I’ll go with you wherever you go and whatever your plan is.”

“Oh my God,” Yanjun groans and kisses Zhangjing once again, smooching him loudly. “I love you.”

Zhangjing fights the blush creeping up his cheeks with a harsh cough. “Shut up.”

 

 

3.

“So, are you like, dating? For real?”

Yanjun and Zhangjing are sitting on the couch, Zhengting standing in front of them, tapping his feet on the floor and he’s giving them an accusing look.

“Um, I think we can say it that way?” Zhangjing catches Yanjun’s glance and he shifts his eyes to Zhengting, eyeing him carefully. Is Zhengting going to blow off at their reckless decision right after they finished the project? Is Zhengting going to scold Yanjun for getting Zhangjing’s hope up so high with no guarantee? Is Zhengting going to disapprove their relationship?

“Yeah, I think.” Zhangjing adds, voice low.

“Good, because now we can have serious talk about safe sex and the safe hours to have sex at the dorm. Unless you guys are going to do it outside every time, you need to remember we have _toddlers_ and a _baby_ around here, so I’d like you to be considerate and cooperative to have sex only at the times I allowed you to.”

Zhengting pauses and glances at Zhangjing, giving him a wink. His expression turns serious in just one second when he talks to Yanjun. “And listen to me carefully, Lin Yanjun. If you ever hurt my friend over there, I’m going to lock you in a room with Justin and Chengcheng with no food, I bet in less than ten minutes you’ll be begging me to just put you in hell instead.”

 

 

2.

The first episode airs two weeks later, breaking the record as the rating goes up and hits the roof; almost double the number of the previous season’s pilot episode.

Zhangjing tries hard not to blush—and is failed miserably—with all the members continuously teasing him with Yanjun. Yanjun’s reaction is practically twins with his, but he’s more calm and composed although his whole face is red—even the tip of his ears.

Yanjun steals a kiss from Zhangjing when nobody pays them attention. Zhangjing can feel Yanjun’s smile against his lips, so he does the same.

“I have a surprise for you on the last episode,” Yanjun says. “I thought it wouldn’t make it to the final edit but I guess the director just loved our chemistry so much.”

“What? It’s on the broadcast and I don’t even know about it?”

“Because it’s a surprise,” Yanjun tells him, taking Zhangjing’s hand and effortlessly intertwining their fingers together. “You’ll find out soon enough, though. It’s just a couple episodes away from this one.”

Zhangjing opens his mouth to ask more, but he closes it again when the members cheer at something Yanjun says on the screen. Zhangjing decides to wait. He’s survived something a lot more challenging before, he knows he will survive this one.

 

 

 

1.

On his last individual interview, Yanjun is asked about something that makes him a little taken aback.

_“What do you think about Zhangjing as a boyfriend?”_

He frowns, thinking hard. “It’s really hard to put it into words because I don’t think I even have the exact phrase to describe how amazing he is. I mean, Zhangjing is always amazing as an individual, but then you become his boyfriend and you start to notice the smallest things you’d missed before, and it suddenly makes you want to stare at him a little longer, hold his hand a little tighter, and you want to be with him a little more everyday.”

_“Do you have anything to say to him, something you can’t say to him directly?”_

Yanjun’s eyes light up. “Ah, can I really say it here? This is a little risky, but I really want to say it.” Yanjun nods after the staffs give him a sign to go, staring straightly at the camera. “You Zhangjing, would you like to be my boyfriend, for real this time?”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> .................idk
> 
> (anyway congrats for finishing another long ass fic of mine! i'll try to write something shorter that isn't crap ok)


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